You’ve got your crib, changing table and nursery decor all set. What else do you need? The answer is: a lot!

Nesting is so much easier (and less stressful!) when you have a list to guide you. That’s why we’ve put together this printable – so you have all the little details buttoned up for that magical moment when you bring home baby.

Click here to download

The following lists cover everything you will need to have ready when you bring home baby.

We’ve grouped the lists into logical shopping expeditions so you don’t have to cram it all into one day (unless, of course, that’s more fun for you!). If your family and friends are throwing you a baby shower, we recommend that you wait until it’s over to go shopping because you might be able to cross a few things off your lists.

Click Here to Download (PDF)

BabyCenter® new FREE app for iPhone® and iPod Touch®

This new FREE app from BabyCenter® guides expectant moms through their pregnancy. The app is now available at www.babycenter.com/iphone-pregnancy-download.

Sweepstakes!

To celebrate the new app, BabyCenter is hosting a BabyCenter® My Pregnancy Today Sweepstakes from August 24 through September 22. Visitors at BabyCenter.com will have the chance to win a $2,500 Apple Gift Card. Go to http://www.babycenter.com/bcsweeps for all contest information and to enter.

Application features include:

• Your pregnancy, day by day: BabyCenter’s renowned weekly pregnancy experience now updated and expanded into a daily snapshot of your baby’s development.
• Fetal development images: Our one-of-kind, detailed weekly illustrations developed by expert medical illustrators.
• Pregnancy checklist: An interactive to-do list is filled with activities and reminders to keep you on track with decisions, appointments, and more.
• Award-winning videos: BabyCenter’s exclusive and breathtaking 3-D animations of a baby developing in the womb and live-action videos of women giving birth (from natural to c-section).
• Birth clubs: Instant, at-your-fingertips advice and support from BabyCenter women due at the same time.
• Due date calculator: Quickly find your due date and count down to the big day.
• Nutrition guide: Manage weight gain with tips and recipes to help you eat well.

BabyCenter Working for Moms:

In addition to the BabyCenter® My Pregnancy Today app, the company has successfully developed other innovative mobile applications for modern moms and moms-to-be. Booty Caller™, the first service of its kind, helps women conceive by alerting them via text message when they’re most likely to be fertile. PhonyPhone™ turns a cell phone into a pretend phone so kids can dial away without making a real call – a lifesaver for any mom who needs to keep a child entertained.

BabyCenter is a member of the Johnson & Johnson family of companies.

The Giveaway:

We are so happy to be able to giveaway a set of parenting books by Jen Singer of Mommasaid.net! They include Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – Baby’s First Year (See the exceprt posted on TuesdayHERE), Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – The Toddler Years and Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – The Preschool Years.

To Enter:

To Win:
This giveaway is open to U.S. residents over 18. Here’s what you need to do to enter to win:

• Fan us on Facebook and follow up on Twitter and post that you have done so!

• Extra Entry: Leave a comment on this blog (be sure to include your email when you submit the comment, so we know how to reach you).

• Extra Entry – mention this giveaway in a post or tweet with a link back and leave a comment letting us know you’ve done so.

• Extra Entry – sign up for Buttoned Up’s e-newsletter.

• Please post a separate comment for each extra entry so we know it’s been done!

• Entry period closes at midnight PST, Sunday, July 25th, and the winner will be announced Monday, July 26th.

**Note winner will be picked at random using Random.org and announced in the newsletter on Monday, July 26. Winners will be contacted by email. Winners will have seven (7) days to contact us and claim the prize before another winner is selected.

You can go here to purchase the books, and be sure to watch the trailer below!

Book Excerpt from Baby’s First Year

by Jen Singer of mommasaid.net

Chapter Nine

Just a Few More Minutes: Balancing Baby with “Me Time”

The first time I left my baby with my mother-in-law for a weekend, I cried the whole way home. He was eight-months-old, and we hadn’t been apart since I left him in the NICU when my insurance company kicked me out of the hospital two days after giving birth. My husband and I were going to tour the mansions of Newport, Rhode Island, for the weekend. But on our first trip as parents, we pretty much ate and slept the entire weekend. After all, we were tired.

While we were gone, I missed my baby and I probably called my mother-in-law too often. I wanted to hear about his every move. What did he eat? Did he play with his favorite toy moon? Is he sleeping at night? Is he smiling? Does he miss me? She humored me by giving me the full run-down each and every time I checked in.

In time, though, I learned how to let go a little and give myself a break. A real break. I learned how to turn off my internal Mommy Monitor (or at least to put it on Snooze) and to give myself some time off from motherhood. And it did me – and my baby – some good.

If this is your first baby, you’re probably thinking I am a bad mommy. What kind of a mother leaves her baby and goes away? Or maybe you’re secretly jealous that I could even pull off a weekend sans baby in the first place. If it’s your second or third baby, you might be thinking, Where can I sign up?
This chapter is all about balancing your baby’s needs with your desire for a nap and, perhaps, some hands-free eating. You can do it. It just takes some planning and protecting your “me” time.

It’s all about the baby.

You will change, on average, about 2,700 diapers in your baby’s first year. You will lose up to – brace yourself – 750 hours of sleep, or about a month. You will have less sex, more worries and a whole lotta guilt. You will be all about the baby, just the way nature intended it. Or did it?

Long before airplanes, the Internet and branch offices, families lived together so that several generations could help new parents raise their babies. I remember watching an Oprah show about how moms were not intended to go it alone when it comes to raising children. The expert on the show claimed that mothers were not meant to get up with their babies all night alone, take care of them all day alone and feel solely responsible for every little thing that goes awry alone. Well, I added that last part, but really, we mothers, especially new ones, put an awful lot on our shoulders. Or maybe society does it. Or both.

Anyhow, it all means for entirely too much focus on our babies and entirely too little on us. That’s how come a good friend of mine wound up with walking pneumonia when her four kids were little, why moms put themselves dead last, and why I was cheering at the Oprah show, “Amen!”

Now, I’m not saying that you should put your baby down and go outside for a joy ride. (Can you have a joy ride in a mini-van?) Nor do I believe that your baby is better off if you spend your day watching Flipping Out re-runs and mixing pomegranate martinis. But I do think that there’s room for more of you and less of all that baby stuff in your schedule, but only if you make it happen. I also think that a little “me time” for mom is good for you and for your baby. Remember, OSHA has rules about working hours and mandatory breaks for workers so that no one gets hurt. And you need a break, too.

How to Get Your “Me Time” Now

Here’s my Five-Step Plan for finding “Me Time” when you’ve got a baby at home:

1. Trust other people.

I put this one first, because I know it’s the hardest one for most new moms. First, nature gave you hormones that make you fiercely protective of your baby. Then, the media added fear to the mix by telling of horror stories about bad things happening to kids when they’re not with their mothers. Soon, guilt seeped in, and then your husband went and did something really dumb, like putting a diaper on backwards or not heating up the bottle before feeding the baby. Your conclusion? Only you are qualified to care for your baby.

But that’s not true. All it takes is some trust and a gradual lowering of your standards, and you can safely and successfully leave your baby with other people. Really! Whether it’s a daycare teacher that you’ve vetted through interviews and background checks, or your mother, who raised you and you turned out just fine, you can leave your baby with trusted family, friends and childcare providers. And yes, Daddy. I’ll go over more in detail on your baby’s relationship with other family members in [a later] Chapter. But for now, remember these important points:
• Hubby is not an assistant mother. As long as your baby is safe, let him parent his own way.
• Some of the baby care rules have changed in the past few decades. Certain rules, such as putting Baby on her back to sleep, must be enforced, no matter who’s watching the baby. Others, though, aren’t as important.
• Some folks have more parenting experience than you do. Trust them. They might know something.

2. Give yourself permission to think about yourself.

Starting with the first Baby on Board sign, which probably went on a 1985 Volvo, our society has been particularly child-centric. Too child-centric, if you ask me. Granted, the younger your kid, the more attention he requires. But our generation of mothers has taken baby care to an unprecedented level — a level where there’s little room for mom or her needs. As a result, we’re burning out, and it’s not good for us, let alone for our kids.

If you’re among the more than 55% of moms who are home full-time with their babies, you might find yourself falling into the same trap that I did. You might think, Well, this is my job now and I’d better be the best ever at it. And so you sign up for baby classes, create “teachable moments” out of folding laundry and work really, really hard at giving your baby every opportunity possible, because you’re fortunate enough to stay home full-time, darn it. But sometimes, your baby just needs to lie on the floor and study her fingers. And sometimes, you need to do the crossword puzzle and attempt to reach the bottom of your coffee mug for once. And guess what? That’s okay. Really.

If you’re working from home or at a job away from home, you might get caught up in the idea that if you’re not working, you’d better be with your baby and vice versa. But that leaves little room for you, not to mention haircuts or showers or sleep. If you’re spending your lunch hours at Baby Gap or putting off your doctor’s visits, you’re not thinking about your well-being. Your husband likely doesn’t feel guilty for working, so why should you? Don’t take it out on yourself. Rather, think of yourself as the CEO of the house. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of everybody else, too.

It worked for me!

“Don’t do everything for your kids. Don’t make them the sun that you orbit around, find some balance.”
– Annie, Honolulu, Hawaii

3. Give your baby some room.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to fill your baby’s day with Beethoven, flash cards and vocabulary building. You don’t have to micromanage every moment of your baby’s life. The sooner you teach your baby a little independence, the more she’ll learn how to entertain herself. And if you’ve ever spent an afternoon with 10-year-olds who don’t know how to play, you’ll understand why that’s so important.

While it might look like your baby isn’t doing much when she’s lying on her back, staring at her monkey mobile, she’s actually learning. And she doesn’t necessarily need your running commentary on “the pretty monkey, the brown monkey, the smiling monkey…” to get it, either. Sometimes, she just needs to stare at the monkey and, perhaps, attempt to suck on her toes. While this might seem to you the road toward a spot at the Village Idiot, it’s not. It’s your baby, taking in colors and shapes and mmmm, toes.

By the time your baby is old enough to lift her head, she can benefit from tummy time in the playpen, crib or on a blanket on the floor (assuming you don’t have a dog or a toddler to run her over). Meanwhile, you can catch up on reading your e-mail or watching the news. If she fusses, turn her back over and let her grab her toys, babble to herself or watch the cat clean herself. But don’t give up on giving her some room. She needs to learn a little independence and you deserve some time off.

MommaSaid

We asked: What’s the worst part of having a baby?

“Losing who I was, body mind and spirit, and morphing into a stranger. I turned into super mom and lost all independence.”
– Paula, Worth, Illinois

4. Make time for yourself and then guard it like a pit bull.

Until my kids started preschool, my mother-in-law watched them one day a week for me. I knew that Thursdays were my days, and I made sure it stayed that way. That meant that when Omi showed up, I left. I didn’t return every hour to see how things were going. I didn’t even call (well, in time I learned not to call), unless I was running late on my way home. That was their time, and it wasn’t my place to get in their way. It was also my “me” time, and I made sure I used it wisely.

Omi-time was easy to take, but leaving my baby with Hubby and going out was harder for me. I knew he needed his time, too, and it’s difficult to mow the lawn and watch a baby at the same time. But if I made plans to go to the gym, I tried not to skip the elliptical machine in favor of a pharmacy run or a trip to BJ’s to find itty bitty socks and a jumbo box of diapers. I could get those things on the way home, and the extra 15 minutes wouldn’t kill my husband. Or I could order them online later along with the bazillion other things we needed.

It’s so easy to fill your free time with errands, and yes, I did that sometimes. I got my hair cut, went to the supermarket, picked up the dry cleaning and all sorts of other errands that seemed much easier to do without a baby (or a baby and a toddler) in tow. But you need your time, too.

If you make plans with your girlfriends, your mom, your husband or just by yourself, don’t be so quick to cancel them for every little thing that seems so much more important. So your baby was a little fussy before you put him down for his nap. He’ll probably wake up fine, and if he doesn’t, what’s the worst that can happen if you’re not the one who’s there to get him? Unless you’re nursing exclusively, there’s no reason why someone else can’t spend a few minutes un-fussifying your baby while you get a much needed break.

5. Ditch the guilt.

Okay, it’s really easy to say and so much harder to do. Motherhood is fraught with guilt, often over things for which we have no control anyhow. I remember feeling like a terrible mother because my baby had circular marks down his chest and stomach. What did I do? I put him in pajamas with nickel snaps. Turns out, he was allergic to nickel. I felt bad that I had exposed my baby to nickel, but really, how the heck was I supposed to know it was going to do that to him? In fact, the pediatrician said he hadn’t seen a nickel allergy in years. And my son’s hands have never broken out in a rash while making change, so perhaps he’s over it now.

You can’t know everything there is to know about parenting, and you shouldn’t have to. You won’t be there for every little thing your child accomplishes or fails, learns or achieves. My niece’s mother was just feet away from her when she fell off a swing and broke her arm. I’m sure she felt guilty anyway. Imagine if she was at the movies or a spa or watching TV when it happened? Oh, the guilt. And yet, it wasn’t her fault, no matter where she was standing.

The sooner you cut yourself some slack, the calmer you’ll become. Motherhood will come more easily to you if you lower your expectations a bit and recharge every now and then.

Jen Singer is the author of these wonderful parenting books: Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – Baby’s First Year, Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – The Toddler Years and Stop Second-Guessing Yourself – The Preschool Years. Go HERE to purchase Baby’s First Year or any of the books in the series. But make note that we will be giving away the trilogy! Come back on Wednesday to get the details!

Babies are beautiful and bring joy to a family.

This handy schedule will help the new parents keep the baby’s busy day Buttoned Up. Record how much the baby is eating, how often they need changing and last time they had a nap or bath. We’ve even included space to track those special things that happened in a day, medicines used or given to the baby, and things to remember—like to tell Daddy something, or to buy something the baby needs, or doctor appointments! DOWNLOAD NOW!

What You Don’t Need to Get Organized When You Are Expecting

As soon as that cute little baby bump makes its appearance, the unsolicited advice rears its ugly head. From your best friend to your mother-in-law to a complete stranger in the check-out line, everyone seems to have an opinion when it comes to your growing belly and how you’ll deal with it all. Whether it’s “are you planning to breastfeed” or “what color have you picked for the nursery,” all of the questions are enough to make an already hormone-overloaded woman scream. And forget walking in to one of the baby superstores. It’s all enough to spike your blood pressure, so take a deep breath, put your feet up, and remember that women have been giving birth for centuries without the benefits of a baby registry. Most importantly, “no,” you don’t really need all that stuff.

Sarah on “changing the focus from pretty to practical”

“I’ll admit it. I wanted the perfectly organized nursery when I was pregnant with my first child. Something about those adorable bumpers and those cute gingham-lined baskets soothed my soul. When I got home from the hospital with my son and realized that I had three tote bags embroidered with his name but no diapers that fit (he was early and the Size 1’s were too big) and no ointment for his little bottom, I realized I spent all my energy focusing on the wrong things.

Alicia on “the best-laid plans…”

“Like most expectant mothers, I oogled over onesies and fretted over mobiles, but when my daughter made an appearance several months early and way before my due date, it turned my detail-minded world upside down. Now, instead of worrying about wallpaper borders for her nursery, I was busy mapping out an almost constant feeding schedule for my tiny 3-pound preemie. I quickly realized that prepping for baby is not about the strollers and high chairs, but about figuring out how you are going to do it all. Spend your pregnancy months shoring up the team to help you weather the storm that is a new baby.”
Fret not, since we have a few more ideas for do’s and don’ts.

1. Stuff (Most of) the Stuff.

By all means, if someone wants to throw you a baby shower and gift you and yours, don’t say no, but remember that you don’t need (and won’t use) most of it right away. Babies need surprisingly little when they are first born. They’ll survive just fine without a portable play yard. They don’t need toys and six months worth of clothes yet. They do need a car seat, somewhere to sleep (bassinet, crib), diapers in different sizes, bottles (just in case), and easy-to-wash clothes (onesies are perfect).

2. Find a neighbor, friend, or family member who is most like you and ask for her advice.

Chances are you have already read the part about where you are supposed to interview pediatricians. While it can certainly be a way to learn more about a practice and its doctors, it can also be a bit of a dog and pony show. Nobody tells it to you straighter than a fellow mom who has called that doctor at 3am with a wailing child. She has already been through it all, so she’ll know where to find formula at 1am or which stores have the cleanest baby changing areas.

3. Don’t forget about you.

It’s easy to get caught up and think it’s just about the baby when they are so downright adorable, but remember that it’s about you too. Instead of stocking up on books that you’ll read when the baby turns 6, get organized and prepare yourself and your home in ways that will help you feel more human during those sleep-deprived weeks. Stock up on your favorite coffee, splurge on sweet-smelling shower gel, treat yourself to a subscription to US Weekly, and figure out the distribution of labor. From cooking dinner to grocery shopping

4. Don’t read everything and anything.

Remember the lady in the check-out line? She’s at the bookstore too, though you’ll find her “whispering” babies to sleep and potty training in one day. There could be an entire college course dedicated to reading all of the expert advice thrown at you. Spend the precious little alone time you do have reading something worthwhile and entertaining, like “Today’s Moms: Essentials for Surviving Baby’s First Year,” by Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Ybarbo. These two Today Show producers bring a lighthearted, yet still informative, approach to baby rearing.

In the summer of 2006,if you had interviewed me about what I was getting organized for the impending arrival of my first son, I would have spent 80% of the time talking to you about the delivery.

I had lots of questions, and like any normal person facing a looming challenge, I wanted to get a better handle on it. Does Lamaze breathing really work? Why can’t I stop watching A Baby’s Story on TLC even though it terrifies the heck out of me? What’s with those women in Brooklyn who are delivering their babies at home in the bathtub? Am I less of a mom because I am not even considering that an option? Will I be strong enough? Am I less of a mom if I decide I want an epidural? Will my baby be harmed if I get drugs? Should I get a Doula? What if I have a Doula and end up getting an epidural anyway? Should I have my mom in the delivery room with me or just my husband? What if I throw up a lot? Will my husband still want to sleep with me if he sees me looking all Exorcist-like? What if I can’t hack it? OhmyGODthisthingreallyhastocomeOUT? You sure I can’t go on being pregnant forever? My curiosity knew no bounds. And unfortunately, there was no limit to the birth-related literature/expertise available to me.

When I wasn’t consumed with work or my dark obsession with the birthing process itself, I devoted my energy to the other part of baby prep: getting all the stuff.

Adorable onsies? Check. Mod crib? Check. Swaddlers? Check. Chic yet age-appropriate animal prints on the wall? Yep. Diaper bag for me? Uh-huh. Nose suction thingie, changing table, and blankie? Done, done, and done. High chair? Wooden toys? Yes and yes. The book What to Expect the First Year? Got it.

I was ready, right?

Well, I did survive labor. And then it was time to go home.

In this corner, weighing in at 5lbs 2oz: William Welch (aka Biggie Smalls)

And in this corner: clueless mom!

Will was on the small side, so we found that the diapers we purchased came up to his chin, which wasn’t too great. Then we realized we had no diaper ointment (oops! How did we overlook that?). Then we realized we had no soft cotton pads to wipe his bottom. Then we realized we didn’t have a little plastic bowl to put warm water in for wetting the soft cotton pads that we didn’t have. No odor-minimizing diaper pail either. Then my milk only came in on one side and after meeting with a lactation consultant, I was told my teeny little guy was getting teenier and I had better start supplementing pronto, which led to a realization that we didn’t have enough bottles (or Prozac for moi, the failure with a capital “F” mom). How could I have been so utterly unprepared? And that was just the first day home! The list got a whole lot longer as we stumbled our way through the first year. Three and a half years on, Will seems to have survived, although I’m sure we’ll hear about all of our shortcomings in therapy someday.

It’s too bad that Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Ybarbo hadn’t yet written their incredible book about surviving baby’s first year Today’s Moms.

It would have saved me quite a few gray hairs (note to mention more than a few of those ohmyGodI’msuchaFAILURE moments)! I am not overstating it when I say I think it should be required reading for all new moms-to-be. It’s a frank, funny, and truly informative look at motherhood in the first year of your baby’s life. It’s a real-life “what to expect when you’re expecting” handbook – written for moms, by moms and packed with Mary Ann’s and Alicia’s first-person experiences and some wonderful anecdotes from Today Show personalities (including a little bit from Al Roker on breastfeeding, which made me literally laugh out loud on a train ride home).

I was lucky enough to catch up with the authors in New York recently, and we chatted about what expecting moms need to know.

Mary Ann and Alicia

before I had even heard of your book, I was thinking about writing an article about what you really needed to organize before a baby. There’s just so much ‘noise’ out there about this thing and that thing that you really MUST have. But from my own experience, the things were really such a tiny part of it all. They kind of miss the point. Your book was exactly what I was looking for. For all (first-time) expectant moms out there: what are the handful of things that really matter?

Mary Ann: It really has to do with having your team in place, that support network, whether it’s your mom or friends, at the ready. That’s so much more important than the stuff. I had been around babies my entire life, so it’s not like babies were this big unknown. But, in the end, having my own just knocked my socks off. I had issues with breastfeeding and struggled with some emotional ups and downs. Having my mom there to support me was really key.

Alicia: I agree with Mary Ann on that one. Having my mom there was a lifesaver. Another really important thing to do that Jean Chatzky talks about is getting yourself prepared financially. The last thing you want to be as a new parent is stressed about money. If you’re currently working, start living on one salary now and do that throughout your entire pregnancy, so that when the baby comes you’re used to living on that amount. Being pregnant does not give you license to go out and spend like crazy. Quite the contrary. Sock it away. You’ll enjoy your maternity leave so much more if you’re prepared to live on one income.

Mary Ann: Find a mommy mentor: someone who, in your mind, is the perfect mom. Ask yourself what lessons you might learn from her. Talk to her about her experiences – the things she remembers as important and the things she things stressed over that really were not worth it. Having a role model will make it much easier to navigate the mommy minefield.

Alicia: Organizing what we refer to as the “unmentionables” is also key. The soothies for your bum, the nursing pads that keep you from leaking, mesh undies. It’s also a good idea to give yourself (or get as a shower gift) something nice, like a manicure/pedicure scheduled for a few weeks post partum. When you’re pregnant – you get so much attention and care. Then, all of a sudden the baby comes and mom is thrown by the wayside. Just a little something like a mani/pedi is wonderful when you’re exhausted and feeling not so great about yourself.

Mary Ann: Another thing you might want to think about if you’re having a baby shower is this: instead of having people give a card with their gift, have them give a book instead. We did that at my shower and five years later, we’re still enjoying the books that people gave. A nice card is often a few dollars, and you tend to throw them away pretty quickly. But if you spend a few more, you can give a book with an inscription that lasts a lifetime.

Alicia: Other things you’ll need to keep track of: baby’s eating, pee/poop, and sleep habits. If you’re breastfeeding, you will need to remember which side you fed last – and that’s harder than you might think when you’re sleep deprived. Get yourself organized on those fronts before you leave for the hospital. We have a pee chart template in the book that is easy to create and easy to use.

I loved the fact that you included a chapter about how to share the load at home with your spouse/support network. Yet it can be a tough thing for moms to admit that they need help (or to let go enough to effectively delegate something). What advice would you give to moms on this front?

Alicia: Men generally want to be more involved with their kids than ever before, but a lot of them are terrified that they are going to hurt this tiny little being. Encourage them to get comfortable holding and playing with the new baby. Don’t nit pick – and when you find yourself doing it, stop! Your husband may hold your child differently than you do. Let it go. He may change a diaper more gingerly. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Resist the urge to gang up on him and huff “here, I’ll do it.” Let him figure out how to handle things. Another thing: be really clear about what you expect from your husband and allow those expectations to evolve. Maybe during your maternity leave, it’s natural for you to do more during the day and then when he comes home, you get a break. But if you go back to work, maybe it becomes more of a partnership. It’s just important to be clear and flexible.

Mary Ann A lot of working women feel like they’re a failure if they delegate. That’s because they are unconsciously (or consciously) emulating their mothers. But the chances are your own mom didn’t work. Nothing about taking care of a baby was necessarily any easier for her, but that’s what she did all the time. You balance so much more as a working mom. So you have to get clear on that in your own mind from the beginning.

Alicia: Make sure your intentions are clear. You can’t be resentful; deal with any issue that’s bothering you right away. If he’s not changing the diapers and you’re overwhelmed, just say it. Don’t let it fester!

Motherhood is one area where women just have an almost impossible time letting go of perfectionist standards (the stakes are so high). What advice would you share for new moms to be (or even old moms) on this topic?

Mary Ann: From day one we’re hard wired to second guess what we do as moms. We love it when someone else we know is imperfect – “oh that’s so cute your kid dressed himself in mismatching clothes and proudly wore them to school!” Yet for some reason we don’t cut ourselves any slack. Why is that? We need to give ourselves more leeway.

Alicia: I’d encourage moms to really strive to be IN the moment. I’m too frequently thinking about the next step (like ugh, I am going to have to clean up that big mess the kids are making right now as they play in the living room). That means I’m not enjoying the play time with the kids. Don’t worry so much about putting everything away, having it all neat. I mean, if the kitchen is a mess, it’s okay. WHO CARES? Nobody cares. Once you get caught in a day or to where you can’t do it all perfectly, you start to realize that the world didn’t end. Just relax and truly enjoy as many moments as you possibly can.

Great advice. Thank you both so much for sharing your own experiences (and for writing such an excellent book!)

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Also comes in baby girl colors:

images from www.kushiesonline.com

Tips For Bravely Traveling With A Baby

By Jill Besnoy of www.honestbaby.com

My husband and I loved to travel before we had children and made a conscious decision to not let having babies get in our way. Now that my two boys are out of their baby stage, I can look back fondly on the “challenges” that I endured. My first trip from New York to Los Angeles with my 3-month old was memorable to say the least, but I pressed onward. I was brazen with my choices. Before my oldest was 2 years old he had already been to 10 different states including Alaska. Although I enjoyed having my family by my side, traveling with a baby tested my patience. Yet the more places we visited the more I learned to adjust the way I travel. These top ten tips are what I’ve learned, but not always followed, during my travels with my babies (who sadly aren’t babies anymore).

Location, Location, Location.

Choose your vacation spot wisely. Realize that the days of going on a serene romantic getaway are over…at least when you’ve got the baby in tow. You can still visit beautiful places, just make sure they’re kid friendly and you’re not dealing with the glares of honeymooners. Pay attention to how you get there. Driving 20 hours straight with a 6-month-old might not be the wisest choice. Taking three connecting flights before you even begin your vacation, again not wise. Make getting there simple and you’ll have more time to relax.

Love Those Kid Perks.

Take advantage of all the perks you can. If taking an airplane, make sure to get the 50 percent discount for kids under 2- years old. Don’t forget to pre-board the airplane. We parents can use all the extra time we can get. Use the car rental’s car seat if they offer it. Request the hotel room closest to the elevator or pool so you don’t have to walk as far. Choose a hotel that provides a crib in the room or high chairs at dinner. The more they have, the less you have to lug along. (My husband would be carrying so many things at the airport, he looked like a pack mule). Family perks are there for a reason, to make your life easier, so use them!

Taking Baby Steps.

Slow down and plan extra time for dealing with your baby. It might take most of the morning for you to pack the diaper bag and get out of your hotel room. If you don’t create unnecessary time constraints and leave it loose, then you’ll be okay. Trust me, don’t try to change the baby’s leaking diaper before the last ferry pulls away from the dock (I missed it). Plan for frequent stops if driving and make sure you have chunks of free time each day. Don’t over-schedule. If sightseeing, only plan one big location each day. Remember to allow time for the unexpected.

A Comfortable Baby is a Happy Baby.

Bring all the right equipment to ensure your baby isn’t roughing it. A portable crib if they won’t provide it, plenty of extra formula or snacks for off-hour hunger, extra pacifiers, bottles, sippy cups, teethers, etc. Basically anything your little dictator may demand that you won’t be able to get in the middle of the night or quick enough before a melt down. If you’re doing a road trip I recommend lots of blankets and pillows for the car. If you’re taking a plane, bring lotion (in a 3 oz. container) and buy lots of bottled water once you’re through security. Remember your baby doesn’t care that this is your vacation. Make sure you have all the accoutrements that your little prince/princess has become accustomed to.

Handling the Sun.

Too much sun exposure can ruin a vacation quicker than you can say SPF. Make sure your baby wears a hat and use lots of sun tan lotion (SPF at least 30). Don’t forget to re-swath throughout the day, especially if your baby is fair. Remember, just because you’re in the shade doesn’t mean there’s no UV rays poking through. There are all sorts of gear out there to protect your baby; beach tents, cover ups, special bathing suits, high end sun tan lotion, etc. Choose your weapon and stay on top of it!

Give up on Schedules (or don’t).

Rigid nap and feeding times can be a downer on vacation. If your baby let’s you, be flexible. Try not to be the mom who runs from the picturesque scene of dolphins leaping in the air to get baby down for his noon nap. Let the baby fall asleep on a blanket in the grass rather than sit inside the hotel room for two hours of naptime. We all know some babies stick to their schedule no matter where they may be and sometimes breaking a routine will wreak havoc when you return from your trip. But sometimes it’s freeing to let it all go on vacation. Of course, if you can only breastfeed in a quiet room, or you have to head back to the hotel for naptime, it’s okay. Depending on the kid, sometimes routine makes your vacation go smoother. Do what works for your family.

Entertainment is Under-Rated.

Make sure to have plenty of books, your baby’s favorite music and engaging toys on hand. These will help during any rough patches. If your baby watches television, I highly recommend bringing a DVD player with their favorite program. Believe me it will come in handy. Great diversions (depending on age) include, stickers, pretend car keys, doodle pads, mirrors, and playdoh. Of course bribery is okay when you’re on vacation; secret treats or brand new toys are part of a clever parents arsenal.

Having a Medical Emergency Free Vacation.

Now is not the time to have your 10-month-old try eggs for the first time. Allergies are the number one vacation spoiler. Don’t leave home without Benadryl or some other antihistamine. Also take along Tylenol, or Motrin, band-aids, etc. You never know what can happen. When you arrive in your room do a quick scan for dangerous things like, small objects that are choking hazards, exposed outlets, or wide-open balconies. Obviously be careful in the in the pool or ocean, I don’t need to tell you that one…

Cleaning Up Gracefully.

Let’s be honest. Babies are not neat. They poop on you, pee on you, vomit on you, spit up on you, stick their hands where they don’t belong. They’re a mess! And you need to be prepared. All parents traveling with a baby should have on hand – disinfectant, anti-bacterial soap, wipes, plastic bags and multiple changes of clothing for baby. And when you are on a plane ride or long car ride, I recommend a change of clothes for you (especially if you have somewhere to go afterwards). You don’t want to hear the story about my husband’s meeting he had to attend smelling like baby throw up.

Embrace Imperfect Parenting.

Keep your sense of humor and realize it won’t go perfectly. Traveling without children can sometimes be difficult but having a baby with you almost guarantees it won’t go smoothly. Most importantly remember that this is family time. Enjoy it and laugh at the bumps in the road.

Visit www.honestbaby.com for more articles from Jill Besnoy.