This is part two of my journey from slapdash meal assembler to cook. If you missed the first two posts, find the the post detailing why I made a resolution to get my weeknight cooking buttoned up and my post about the first tentative steps I took on my journey from slapdash meal assembler to organized cook.

Phase II: Mastering the Basics

After the fits and starts of January and February (okay and most of March too), I was starting to feel like I was getting the hang of cooking.

Because I kept making and re-making “standards,” I now could prepare the likes of a very basic baked ziti, red lentil dahl, and baked fish without consulting a cookbook. Not to mention rice, barley, and couscous, which were (and still are) my go-to starches.

As far as vegetables were concerned, I found my boys gravitating to salads, green beans, and broccoli. Dark leafy greens like spinach and kale were not ever well received when I experimented with them. So I didn’t fight it and focused on keeping the things they liked rotating in and out. My default prep for veggies is still to this day steaming.

Here are two of my “standard” menus from around this time. They are basic, basic, basic – some might even say boring. But they weren’t frozen or take out. That meant I was, in the words of Charlie Sheen, “WINNING.” The rest of team Welch loved them too.

Super Basic Baked Ziti Dinner

• 1 lb of dried ziti pasta
• 1 15 or 16 oz tub of ricotta cheese
• 1 jar of pasta sauce (sometimes I make my own by sautéing a little garlic in 1-2 TBSP olive oil, after a few minutes adding a can of diced tomatoes and some Italian seasoning or fresh herbs if I have them like parsley, oregano, and basil. I let it simmer for 5 min or so and voila. Done and look ma, no preservatives! Now if they’d only start canning tomatoes in glass jars rather than BPA lined cans…sigh)
• 1 Cup shredded Mozzarella Cheese
• Italian seasonings
• Salt & Pepper to taste

To make, just boil the pasta until it is al-dente. Once you drain it, return it to the pot and add the ricotta cheese, pasta sauce, and about 1 1/2 tsp of Italian seasonings. Mix well. Add salt and pepper to taste. Then dump the coated ziti into a 9×13 baking dish, top with the cheese and put in the oven for 30ish minutes at 350. Sprinkle the top with parmesan cheese and serve.

While the pasta is cooking, use the time to make a salad or steam some veggies.

As I promised yesterday, here is the story of the first part of my journey from someone who relied heavily on packaged goods, frozen dinners, and take out to someone who cooked healthy dinners from scratch at least 6 nights a week.

Phase I: Fits & Starts

Of course I started strong out of the gates.

On January 1st, I think I pored over the 10 cookbooks in my stash for about two hours while I made a detailed menu and shopping list. I carefully printed or copied recipes for the week and organized them in a plastic sleeve that I boldly labeled “Recipes” and kept on the countertop. I dragged the family shopping at Whole Foods, embracing my new Mother Earth image with aplomb. Dinner the first night took me a full 3 hours to get on the table, half of it hands-on prep. I made an absolutely delicious vegetarian lasagna from the delightful cookbook The Healthy Kitchen by Andrew Weil & Rosie Daley.

My husband, a meat lover, thought it was delicious. My oldest shouted, “THANKS FOR MAKING SUCH A BAWICIOUS BRAZAGNA MOMMAY!” My youngest slurped it up too, occasionally grinning at me from across the table between fistfuls of spinach and noodles.

Lights twinkled and the angels sang. My chest swelled with pride.

I can DO this!

And then the weekday hit. I got something resembling the dinner from scratch I had planned on the table the second night. But by the third, my usual chaos was back. Conference calls, immovable deadlines, and revisions, revisions, revisions kept me in a frenzy until 5:55pm. Oops. Thank heavens I still had some frozen Bertolli dinners in the freezer. Three more days like that and my pride-filled chest was nothing more than a deflated sac.

Who am I kidding?!

The image of my mom was a powerful motivator though. The next Sunday morning I got right back in the saddle, poring over the cookbooks, making my menu and shopping lists, although this time I shopped at my local Stop & Shop. The second week went much like the first: three real meals, four quazi-ones.

And around and around I went in fits and starts through most of January and February. I can DO this! Who am I kidding?! I can DO this! Who am I kidding?!

Fortunately, I had done two things right when I framed my resolution. 1) I had given myself plenty of runway to figure this out – 12 whole months. Even though I was technically “failing” in this stage, December still felt far enough in the future that I believed I could crack it if I stuck with it. And (2) I had tied one hell of an emotional motivator to my resolution. How could I not want to carry my mom’s legacy forward for my boys?

I cannot understate the importance of having a massively important emotional reason to keep you going when you want to give up.

Suggested Reading

As my interest in healthy foods/cooking grew, so did my appetite for books on the topic. There were two books I read during this period that made a lasting impression – and strengthened my resolve to make this resolution stick.

The first, Eating Animals, by Jonathan Safran Foer, the acclaimed novelist and author of Everything Is Illuminated.

The author was motivated to explore the topic by the arrival of his own son. As an on-again, off-again vegetarian his whole life, he felt he needed to come to terms with the issue as he would be making dietary choices on behalf of his child – a responsibility he took very seriously. Just that notion alone reminded me that I hadn’t been making the best dietary choices for my boys (because I was “too busy”). It made me want to redouble my efforts.

Mr. Foer is a wonderful storyteller, so even though this is very much a non-fiction book, it reads more like a fast-paced novel. For me, by far the most compelling portions of his book involved his dive into the horrifying world of factory farming. I honestly had never really thought much about how the animals that I ate and fed my family were raised, slaughtered, and brought to market. But his chilling accounts of the mass cruelty as well as the biological and ecological ramifications stopped me in my tracks. His findings have been reinforced by other books and articles I have read since, so I don’t think anything is fabricated or exaggerated. The book provided a wake up call that has profoundly affected how we think about and consume meat and dairy products. We’re still omnivores, but we only consume meat and dairy products that have been pasture-raised and we made the shift right away. Yes, it’s more expensive, but you offset that by eating less of it, which is healthier anyway.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone who is in the process of making a transition to eating healthier.

The second book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michal Pollan brought me even deeper into the world of agriculture.

This book posed exactly the same questions that I was seeking, which is what compelled me to pick it up in the first place, namely: what exactly am I eating? Where does it come from? Why should I care?

Much has been written about this book, so I won’t bore you with another book report. Yet, I feel compelled to say, his analysis of the various elements that create our modern food chain has profoundly and permanently changed how I purchase the ingredients that go into our meals. For example, I no longer equate organic with sustainability and I buy almost exclusively from the Farmer’s Market when it is in season.

Literally, not a day goes by where I don’t think about something I learned in this book.

Have you read any compelling books about food? If so, please share them! Have you read either of the books I mentioned here? If so, what did you think about them?

Continue on to read Part 2 here.

PS – I just love this poster. Even though I no longer AM that woman, it still makes me crack a smile. You can buy one on AllPosters.com.

At the beginning of 2011, I decided to switch up my typical approach to making New Year’s resolutions. Rather than chasing five or ten different goals (and accomplishing maybe two-thirds of one of those), I decided to switch gears and make one big resolution — one that honored my mom and enabled me to keep her presence in my childrens’ lives.

The goal

My one resolution was to go from someone who at dinnertime relied heavily on this…

…and this:

To a mom who whipped up some healthy goodness like this at least six nights a week…

{image via: Little Yellow Kitchen}

…and even bakes her own bread.

A tall order to be sure.

But I figured that, given the time horizon, it was within the realm of possibility.

As it turns out, I stuck with it and have become one of those people I used to eye suspiciously, if not downright incredulously: one who genuinely enjoys cooking dinner. But you know what I enjoy even more? Three boys who actually inhale quinoa.

I swear it makes me want to break out into song every time I see it happen.

Rest assured, my path to culinary glory has not been a straight one. No significant behavioral overhaul is though, which is why I thought it might be helpful to share some of the key lessons from my journey. I know I can’t be the only person who relied too heavily on packaged, processed foods in order to get dinner on the table, right?

The Journey

While I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, I gradually worked my way through four distinct phases between January and December. During the first phase, I flailed around and generally stumbled more than I succeeded. In the second phase I started to get my sea legs. By the time I got to the last two stages, I was really having some fun.

Over the next few days I am going to share with you the details from each stage of the journey. I’ll dole it out in bite-sized pieces because, as my mom always said, a little bit of chocolate every day is SO much better than a pound of chocolate all at once. Start here for the embarrassing recap of the first phase of my journey from frozen dinner queen to healthy weeknight cook.

Have you ever made a significant behavioral change? What was it? How long did it take to stick? Did you go through “phases?”

The statistics on setting New Year’s resolutions are pretty dismal. Most people won’t make it to the end of the month, let alone the end of the year. In fact, we’ve heard that as few as 2% of resolution-setters actually achieve their goals by year’s-end. Making a change stick is hard work. But it is possible.

No matter what your goals are for the year ahead, we want to help you achieve them. Organize yourself for success with these helpful tips.

1. Take time to evaluate 2011.

Consider the things that went well for you last year as well as the things that didn’t. Make a list of each. Take a moment or two to consider why you were successful or not. In addition, take a moment to celebrate your successes.

2. Ask yourself: “what lessons can I extract from my previous failures?”

I recently posted about the power of a failure wall. As one reader commented on Facebook, “often what we consider huge failures in our minds actually were great learning experiences and have brought us to where we are today – almost a backwards confidence booster.” Take the time to articulate the lessons learned from the stumbles you took last year. The wisdom you gained from making them will serve you well in the year ahead.

3. Get a notebook and write down your goals.

When you physically write something down, the few minutes that it takes for you to review and think about what you are trying to learn is the minimum length of time that neuroscientists believe is necessary to allow thought to go into a lasting, more easily retrievable memory. It also helps you focus your attention and keep track of where you are. Cement your goals by writing them down.

4. Forget about yesterday, last week, last year.

All that matters is what you do in this moment. Don’t paint yourself into a corner as a “failure,” because it is not a permanent state.

5. Start each day with a commitment to your goal(s).

Keep your goals in a spot where you can see and review them at the start of every day. I like to keep a laminated copy taped to the inside front of my to-do notebook, which I look at as soon as I sit down at my desk each day. I know Alicia keeps hers in the drawer of her bedside table and goes over her goals before she even gets out of bed for the day.

6. Script your moves for the first 30 days.

Shifting momentum is often the most difficult part of making a fresh start. Make it easier on yourself by assigning one to-do for each day of the first month so all you have to do is follow the path you’ve already charted.

7. Start small.

As Jonatan Martensson said, “Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now.” Even if it’s just exercising or decluttering for 5 minutes, the important thing is that you start.

8. Make one goal for each week.

Break your big goal into 4 weekly goals for each month. Then forget about the big goal and simply focus on the bite-sized one you need to achieve this week.

9. Plan to Fail.

That sounds depressing, but it’s not. Nobody is perfect. The key to success is expecting failure…and planning ways to bounce back from it. Consider your “weak spots,” like getting out of a warm and cozy bed early. Then brainstorm ways to overcome them, such as going to bed in your workout clothes or investing in a Clocky (that alarm clock that runs away from you).

10. Try some if/then statements.

Psychology researchers from NYU have verified the power of simple if/then statements in getting people to follow through on their intentions. For example, if weight loss is your goal, repeat a statement like, “if I go to a restaurant tonight for dinner, then I will order a salad,” to yourself. You might just surprise yourself when you order a salad as if on autopilot.

11. Stoke your emotional attachment to your goals.

Cut out quotes and images, keep a Pinboard (if you need an invite, just email sarah at getbuttonedup dot com and she will get you one). Keep them handy so that when you are tempted, you can look at something and immediately feel a strong sense of connection to your end goal.

12. Measure your progress.

Pick one or two metrics to measure and keep track of your progress every, single day. Look back at your progress each week and month and celebrate!

13. Make a public statement.

There’s nothing like committing to a goal publicly to keep you honest. Post on your facebook wall, send an email to friends and family, or tell all of your colleagues what you are going to accomplish, by when. Encourage them to check in on you and heckle you if you are not living up to your end of the bargain.

14. Get an accountability buddy or community.

We all need one person who can hold our feet to the fire. If all of your friends and family are pushovers, hire a coach or trainer instead. Or consider joining or creating a Meetup group that will accomplish the same thing.

15. Keep a daily gratitude list.

When you are filled with appreciation for what you have, your mental state shifts dramatically in a positive direction. Start each day by noting all the people and things in your life you are grateful for and take note of how the tone of your days improves.

16. Pat yourself on the back once a week.

It can be easy to get swept up in busyness. But celebrating your progress each week is critical to staying on track. Take 5 minutes every Friday afternoon or Sunday evening and write down at least 3 things you did (or learned) that brought you closer to your intended goal.

17. Reframe what it means to fail.

A teacher once told Sarah that the only way to fail was not to learn. It transformed how she looked at her progress. If you fall down, pick yourself up and ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Learn how you can prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

18. Stop the comparisons.

Goals are personal. Don’t compare yourself or your rate of progress to anyone else. Focus instead on doing the best you can do today.

19. Sign up for a challenge.

There is something about working towards a big challenge that keeps you focused and on track. Find a relevant one to you and sign up.

20. Reward your self-control.

Keep a little sticker or star chart going for yourself on an index card you can keep your wallet. Every time you exercise self-control as it relates to your goal, give yourself a star. Each time you hit a certain number of stars, say 10, reward yourself with something like a manicure or a yummy smoothie.

21. Find someone successful to imitate.

As Anthony Robbins says, “success leaves clues.” You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Speed up your progress by modeling the program of someone who has been successful in the area in which you wish to succeed.

22. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Repeating tasks is the way to mastery. You should repeat one or two of the same tasks that are crucial to the change you want to make each and every week. Before you know it you will be able to do them on autopilot.

23. Be still once a day.

If you have had a good day, consider this an opportunity to energize yourself and tap into your insight and creativity. If you haven’t had a good day, a quiet moment serves as a fresh start. Clear your mind, clean your slate, and begin again.

What are you committed to changing this year? In what ways do you like to start fresh?

Get Organized in 2012

Hoping to turn over a new, organized leaf in the New Year? If so we’re excited for you and here to help. We have just put the finishing touches on our first ever Get Buttoned Up Challenge. What is it exactly? Well, it’s one part “get organized boot camp,” one part cheerleading squad, and best of all, a serious accountability system that will ensure you follow through on your good intention.

How the January #GetButtonedUp Challenge Will Work

Each day during the month of January we have a specific organizational task for you to complete. Download 31 day calendar by clicking on the link below.

Get Buttoned Up Challenge – January

When you complete the task, let the buttoned up team know your status by commenting on the Facebook check-in post for that day and either email or Tweet the picture of your completed task. Each week participants who successfully complete all 7 of their daily tasks will be entered into a drawing for a prize.

We’ll also enter anyone who has completed all 31 days of the challenge successfully into a grand prize drawing. All winners will be selected using random.org.

Participating in the #GetButtonedUp Challenge is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Let us know you’re in by commenting on this post below. Be sure to tell us your Facebook name in your comment!
2. Letting us know you completed your daily task by commenting on the Facebook GetButtonedUp Challenge Check-In post each day
3. Sending a picture of your completed task to Sarah – via email sarah @ getbuttonedup dot com OR via TwitPic to @SarahButtonedUp & using the #getbuttonedup hashtag.

Weekly prizes will be awarded to a participant who has completed all of the previous week’s tasks successfully and let us know by checking in on Facebook and with pictures.

Weekly & Grand Prizes

Week 1 Prize: Signed copy of Pretty Neat
Week 2 Prize: Weekly.agenda + Greetings.stash
Week 3 Prize: $20 Target Gift Card
Week 4 Prize: $20 Walmart Gift Card
Grand Prize: Hoover Max Extract 60 Pressure Pro
2 Runner Up Grand Prizes: Hoover Presto 2-in-1 Cordless Stick Vacuum

Join In By Commenting Below!

NOTE: All are welcome to join in the challenge, but all prizes except Buttoned Up products are for US participants only.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/12/22/join-the-january-getbuttonedup-challenge/feed/ 197 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/11/02/a-week-by-week-plan-for-staying-ahead-of-holiday-chaos/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/11/02/a-week-by-week-plan-for-staying-ahead-of-holiday-chaos/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:49:29 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=18015

The holidays have a tendency of sneaking up on you, don’t they? Before Halloween is even over, most of us already start to feel the crush of impending holiday chaos. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a guide to keep you one step ahead with your holiday to do’s? We thought so too, which is why we’ve created a week by week plan to get you from now through the end of December without losing your mind.

So if you’d rather not be left on Christmas Eve running from store to store in a panicked frenzy because you don’t have enough sugar, or forgot to get your mother in law a present in the rush of holiday activities, read on.

This Week: Design Your Holiday Cards & Organize Addresses.

There’s one thing you don’t want lingering on your list come Black Friday, and that is “holiday cards.” Take the time this week to pick out your card, get your photos in order (or take a family photo this weekend if you haven’t already), and prepare the list of who will receive a card. I’m using Tiny Prints this year – I love their designs and how easy it is to customize your own photo card. If you use a digital contact manager, like Mac’s Address Book, you can create a group titled “holiday card” and drag and drop contacts from your master list to that group. In Outlook, you can create a new “holiday card” category for contacts and then go through each contact and assign them to that category. In addition, if you are traveling to visit friends and family, make sure your tickets are purchased by the end of this week.

Week of November 7: Set Your Budgets & Make Your Lists.


It’s very easy to get caught up in the spending spree that the end of the year often turns into. You don’t want to start out the New Year in debt though. Use this week to figure out a number in your head that you absolutely will not go over. This number will cover the cost of food, presents, travel, decorations, and everything else that comes along with the holiday season. Then use these three free Hoilday budget printables from us to help you organize your gift-buying so you stick to your budget. Additionally, write and address at least 5 cards a night this week. By the end of the week, you’ll have 35 done!

Week of November 14: Plan the Menus.


If you plan on hosting a holiday event at your house, whether it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner or some other holiday gathering, now is the time to plan the menu. Think about the drinks, appetizers, main course, and desserts you’d like to have, and try to keep it simple. Two great resources for clipping recipe ideas online and organizing those ideas are the free notes program, Evernote and the free virtual pinboard, Pinterest. Your goal for the week is to have a complete menu selected by Friday. By the end of the weekend, print out all the recipes you need for the big day and store them in a plastic sleeve in a kitchen drawer, and make your shopping list. Don’t forget to keep up your five-a-night holiday card habit too.

Week of November 21: Get a Sparkle On.


One of the most stressful parts of having company over can end up being how clean (or not clean) your house is for your guests. Create a “gratitude centerpiece” by having family members fill out these Thanksgiving printables and hanging them on branches in a vase. On Monday and Tuesday, concentrate on getting everything in order in stages. On Wednesday figure out when each dish needs to be cooked, and if something can be prepared in advance. You might even want to get a jump-start on your Christmas or Hanukkah preparations by doubling any recipes that can be frozen. Enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday with your loved ones.

Week of November 28: Get Your Gifts in Order.


Armed with your printed gift list, hit the Internet and get your shopping out of the way on Cyber Monday (starting here at GetButtonedUp.com). Send back any RSVP’s you’ve been putting off taking care of, and send your own holiday cards/invitations out. Then enjoy the time you have before the rush starts again, and treat yourself to at least one day of relaxation for a job well done.

Week of December 5: Deck the Halls.


Drag out those storage bins and start unpacking those decorations! It’s time to untangle those lights, trim the tree, and dust off those holiday cd’s. and playlists Also, if you have any gifts to buy that you haven’t already ordered online, this would be the week to do it. Ditto if you have gifts to ship.

Week of December 12: Set Up a Wrapping Station.


Clear off a flat working space, like the dining room table and organize scissors, paper, tape, and if you use them, gift tags, on the surface. Wrap a few presents every evening this week. If you don’t have wrapping paper, use a green alternative like newspaper, cloth bags, or put children’s artwork to good use.

Week of December 19: Seek Peace.

Relax.

You are ready. It’s easy to get caught up in the rush, so slow down and enjoy your loved ones before the season is over.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/11/02/a-week-by-week-plan-for-staying-ahead-of-holiday-chaos/feed/ 0 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/02/01/hollies-new-years-resolutions-one-month-in/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/02/01/hollies-new-years-resolutions-one-month-in/#comments Tue, 01 Feb 2011 13:16:43 +0000 Hollie http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=14475

It is one month since I committed to my 3 New Year’s Resolutions and I have to admit, it hasn’t been easy nor have I been fully committed to each one.

However, I haven’t fallen completely off track and feel that I’m doing way better than any year before this one. Below is a recap of my resolutions and how I am honestly doing so far:

1) Work out at least 3 times a week and keep track of calories-in / calories-out every day – So I’ve been working out at least 4 times a week which is better than my goal; however, I haven’t been keeping track of calories-in / calories-out every day which I need to focus more on.

2) Drink less (limit 1 night/week) – I have been doing pretty well with this. I haven’t been perfect – I think I just need to replace the drink with something else to help me relax or unwind, like ice cream or a back massage! Now I just need to get my boyfriend to give me one!

3) Focus and appreciate the positive things in my life and less on the negative – This has been a lot harder than I thought it’d be! I get so swooped up in the daily grind and the little things, that I keep forgetting to look at the big picture and the great things I have in my life. Maybe I need to pinch myself every time I have a negative thought! Any ideas on how I can stop my mind from focusing on the negative?

So that’s my update. How are you doing on yours?

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/02/01/hollies-new-years-resolutions-one-month-in/feed/ 2 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/11/resolve-to-be-happy-in-2011/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/11/resolve-to-be-happy-in-2011/#comments Tue, 11 Jan 2011 13:00:30 +0000 Alicia http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=13939

I saw this and really liked Todd’s tips on how to be happy in 2011. Hope you will like them too.

Every January 1, in a blur of champagne and party chatter, we toss out those three little words like so much glittering confetti. They’re as much a staple of the annual milestone as Dick Clark and the Times Square ball. But how many of us take the time to think about what the phrase truly means? What is happiness, anyway? What does it look like? And—most important of all—how can we achieve it?

Todd Patkin thinks he has the answer to this question.

“We’re all longing for happiness,” says Patkin, coauthor along with Dr. Howard Rankin of the upcoming book Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In. “We think we can achieve it by losing ten pounds or kicking a bad habit or making more money, and that’s why we vow to do those things year after year after year.

“But I’ve found that true happiness isn’t about those kinds of achievements,” he adds. “Instead, it comes down to learning to love yourself. And there are some very specific things you can start to do now to move in that direction.”

“I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’ve come up with ten simple things people can do to become happier in 2011,” he says. “You don’t have to do all of them at once—just focus on the three or four that resonate most with you and do those.”

Todd’s Top Ten Tips for a Happier 2011…and Beyond:

· If you don’t exercise, start. You already know exercise keeps you healthy and helps you control your weight. But did you know it’s also a natural antidepressant? In Finding Happiness, Patkin pays homage to the mood-boosting powers of exercise. And you don’t need to run a marathon to reap these benefits (even though Patkin actually did run one—the Boston Marathon—in 2007).

· Be easier on yourself. A lot of New Year’s resolutions are little more than thinly disguised vehicles for beating yourself up. (“I’m too fat—this year I will lose twenty pounds!” Sound familiar?) There’s nothing wrong with self-improvement, says Patkin, but it needs to come from a place of love. Yes, you need to love and forgive yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings…and that’s tough for many Americans.

· Find some way this year to put your gifts and talents to work. Talent wants to express itself. If your job doesn’t allow it to do so, find something that does. (Yes, it would be better to find a job that lets you do what you’re great at, Patkin acknowledges—but let’s face it, that’s not always possible in a bad economy!)

· Build richer relationships with loved ones. Is your marriage running on autopilot? What about your relationship with your kids? Do you come home from work and sit in front of the computer while they play in another room (or worse, watch TV)? Too many Americans fail to engage their families in a meaningful way, notes Patkin.

”

· Celebrate your spouse. And speaking of your marriage…how is it? If it’s mired in negativity or characterized by bickering or tension, you’ll never be happy. (In fact, Patkin says if you’re married to a negative person who drags you down, you’d be best served by ending the union—but only if you’ve tried everything else.) The good news is that it may not take a lot of effort to dramatically change the tenor of your marriage.

· Let the people you appreciate know it. Yes, of course you need to let your close friends and family members know how you feel about them. That’s a given. But what about your coworkers? Your barber? Your child’s teacher? The neighbor who keeps an eye on your house when you’re away? Most of us are too self-conscious to make a big fuss over the people who are sort of on the periphery of our lives but who nonetheless make a big impact—and Patkin says changing that is a key component of happiness.

· Forgive someone who has wronged you. This is the other side of the “forgive yourself” coin. Just as you deserve a break, so do other people. And forgiveness is, at its heart, an act of self-love. If you can’t let go of pain and anger, you can’t be happy.

· Become a giver. Happiness is not about how much you make; it’s about how much you share. Your income and/or net worth has nothing to do with happiness, says Patkin. (“I’ve been wealthy and miserable at the same time, so I know,” he insists.) How much you give—of your money, your time, your self—does, however. That’s why you should find a way to share your fortune (not necessarily the monetary kind!) with others.

· Take a “baby step” toward finding some faith. This year, make a conscious effort to think a little bit more about your faith, perhaps check out a few different places of worship, or maybe read a couple of spiritual books. Happy people have a connection to a Higher Power. If you aren’t sure there even is one, make this the year you do some honest exploration.

· Make 2011 a year of gratitude. If you make only one change in 2011, make it this one, says Patkin: Work to be more appreciative in general. According to an August 2010 article in TheDailyBeast.com, a study by a University of California psychology professor found that grateful people are 25 percent happier than their ungrateful brethren. For the most part, becoming more grateful just means opening your eyes to the blessings you already have.

What Patkin is really talking about is a shift in attitude. All of his tips are simply devices for helping us make that shift.

“It’s ironic: Most of us have everything we need to be happy,” he says. “The tragedy is we’re sleepwalking through life without really noticing that truth. If we could learn to live with an attitude of gratitude—for our kids, our homes, our friends, our health, the food on our tables—we wouldn’t need to worry about finding happiness. We’d be living it every day.”

# # #

About Todd Patkin:

Todd Patkin, 45, is the coauthor (along with Dr. Howard Rankin) of the upcoming book Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/11/resolve-to-be-happy-in-2011/feed/ 1 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/05/unresolutions-%e2%80%93-let-go-of-those-you-know-you-won%e2%80%99t-keep/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/05/unresolutions-%e2%80%93-let-go-of-those-you-know-you-won%e2%80%99t-keep/#comments Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:28:02 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=13910

Unresolutions – Let Go of Those You Know You Won’t Keep

It can be tempting to come up with a long laundry list of ways to revamp your life in the New Year. But once the parties are over, the decorations are put away, and January is here, the harsh reality of a big list of resolutions is likely to cause some thoughts of I’llneversticktoitsowhystart – dooming you before you even begin. Most people start out with good, or even great, intentions, but did you know that 75% of people lose steam with their New Year’s resolutions within the first 6-12 weeks? Stop trying to be perfect! That’s right, we’re telling you to get our your list and the biggest eraser you can find and set to work. It doesn’t make any sense to set yourself up for disappointment, so take a long, hard look at the list and ask yourself some serious questions. What do I really want for myself this year? What can I realistically change or add given my current lifestyle? Instead of a zillion resolutions that won’t pan out, it’s much better to limit yourself and focus on the things that really matter (and that you can actually achieve!).

Sarah on “my 2011 plans”

“Ok, I’m the first to admit that my 2011 resolutions look a whole lot like the 2010 ones, but there’s nothing wrong with that! I was thrown a few curve balls last year but the biggest one was losing my mom. She was so full of life and healthy, so I’ve committed myself to making 2011 a year of honoring her memory. How am I doing that? By turning off any and all distractions, like iPhones and computers, when I am with people. Mom’s gift was being truly present…and that’s a legacy I’d be honored to uphold. I also plan to cook more homemade meals. We definitely relied on take-out more than I wanted to last year, but this year I am committed to cooking. I want my family to eat healthy meals and I want to break in my new kitchen more than just using the oven for heating things up!”

Alicia on “identifying my priorities”

“I am definitely a New Year’s resolution person. I love the idea of a do-over in anything and it’s a great way to look at the coming year by focusing on things that will improve your life. I occasionaly fall victim to the monster master list, though, and I plan to make my first resolution to tame my resolution making! Last year’s list was too big and this year, I’m making my list, checking it twice, and then keeping one. I just haven’t decided which one just yet!”

Here’s how to think about, focus, and achieve your resolutions:

1. Make that Big List.

And then get ready to cross most of it off. Sit down and brainstorm about all of the things in your life that you’d like to do. Exercise? Check. More me time? Check. Date night? Check. Keep in touch with college friends? Check. Get it all down

2. Take the Importance Test.

New Year’s resolutions are kind of like looking in the mirror. Who wouldn’t like longer eyelashes or blonder highlights, but what do you really care about? Look at your list and determine what really matters to you. If having a healthier 2011 is your primary goal, then tackle the resolutions geared toward that. If you’re thinking of more emotional health, focus on those resolutions.

3. Make a Cheat Sheet of Why’s.

Why do you want to lose ten pounds? It’s not just to fit into those skinny jeans. Maybe it’s because you want to run with your new puppy or just want to carry the groceries up the stairs without huffing and puffing. Make a list of every reason why you want to accomplish the goals and keep it at the ready for those moments you’re staring down a temptation or simply feel discouraged and want to give up.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/05/unresolutions-%e2%80%93-let-go-of-those-you-know-you-won%e2%80%99t-keep/feed/ 0 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/03/onwards-upwards/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/01/03/onwards-upwards/#comments Mon, 03 Jan 2011 18:08:32 +0000 Hollie http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=13908

Happy New Year to all of our readers!

I had to share this inspiring and motivational graphic.

Wishing all of you a prosperous and successful 2011!

(via Christopher David Ryan)

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