Mary “I’m a complete mess” Waters contacted her guru Nancy to help her with overcoming Organizational Inertia. See if you can offer Mary advice too!

Mary’s Question:

Hi Nancy! Nancy was my mother’s name, and it is my step mother’s name! I immediately like you. My question is, how do I overcome the battle with inertia?

I work 70 hours a week, literally, am a 30 yr old single woman with no kids but one fat cat, and my 1 bedroom apartment is a disaster. I moved in and never unpacked. Inertia is troubling me. I drive around all day, work my jobs, and all the while I fantasize about how exactly I will execute my organizational ideas when I get home. It always sounds like such a good plan, but then the second I set foot in my apartment, a cloud comes over me, I plop down at the table, surf the computer for a while, then my eyes glaze over and I go to sleep for a nap until my second job starts. I work two jobs, one is 3rd shft and the other is 1st shift. I never sleep more than 4 hours at a time and it is crazy.

Sincerely,
Mary

Nancy’s Reply:

Mary,
Thank you for choosing me – I immediately like you too! I hope I can help you out!

First, please stop beating yourself up! You work two jobs with little sleep – no wonder you don’t have the energy to focus on your apartment. Who would? But I understand the desire to walk into an orderly home; one that you can truly relax in and recharge. So here are some suggestions that may help you get over your inertia.

1. Write It Down

We know that what you write down gets done. The brain connects with the act of writing something down and seeing it in black and white. So before you try and tackle the job of organizing your apartment start by writing down what needs to be done – room by room. Then indicate which items are the top three in each room. This is following our 80/20 rule – focus on the most important things.

2. Baby Steps

Use the list you just made as your starting point. For each top three write down a commitment as to when you will get that done (Kitchen – ‘I will unpack the kitchen by Saturday’ – giving yourself several days to accomplish the task, etc.). You can even break it down further if you think it will help you get done such as unpack all dishes one day and all dishes put away in the cupboard the next day, unpack all cookbooks the next and put away; toss empty boxes. You get the idea. Just focus on the commitment and task at hand.

3. Schedule It

Schedule in the tasks so you know when you come home tired all you have to do is that one task. And bypass the computer desk all together! Do your one scheduled task, one baby step at a time and you will get there in no time! And importantly, don’t let what isn’t done detract you from your commitment and goal for the day! Also think about doing the tasks in the part of the day when you have more energy and mindset for organizing. You seem to have more energy at the start of the day so if you can accomplish just one thing before leaving the house, you will feel better all day long.

4. Buddy System

Knowing that it is difficult in your circumstance to have the energy to overcome your inertia – you really don’t have much time to tackle the house – try getting a buddy to help you! Ask for help and offer to help them back with something they need. It’s more fun to work with others and more gets done in less time. You will find you motivate each other to get the tasks done. You are not the only single woman working 70 hours a week – I bet you have a friend who would love your help too!

5. Establish Routines

I know it’s hard to come home exhausted and think about organizing your apartment. So by following these simple steps you will eventually get to your goal of an unpacked, organized home. Then the challenge is to keep it that way. The best way to do that is to establish routines. My favorite is if you take it out put it away when you are done. Less to think about and less to clean up!

Think of ways you can make coming home a routine. Maybe it’s automatically hanging up your things, changing, making a meal, checking the mail, cleaning up after a meal, then turning on your computer, and then sleeping. If you only have a small window before you have to sleep and get up for your next job, routines will help make the most of your available time and actually give you more time to do the things you want to do.

Good luck and let us know if these tips worked for you! If any of our readers have additional ideas for Mary please include them in the comment area below.

Best to you!

-Nancy

If You Missed Tonight’s Show…

Approximately 75% of the 25.8 million family caregivers in the US are women. And 41% of them are juggling taking care of children and their elderly parents. It can be an overwhelming process. Watch a replay of the show and learn what things are absolutely critical for managing the care of a parent without losing your mind.

Did you know, if not applied correctly, your 30 SPF sunscreen can protect more like a 2? Ouch!

Check this sunscreen guide to find out how your sunscreen stacks up.

Helping Parents Stay a Step Ahead of Chaos

We’re thrilled to announce that we will be regular contributors to the BabyCenter Momformation Blog! If you’re a parent of a child under the age of 10, chances are you’ve checked out that site more than a few hundred times – from the moment you found out you were pregnant to when you just weren’t sure how you were ever going to get your 2-year-old to eat his broccoli!

We’ll be posting tips and tricks for parents of all stripes every Monday in the Life & Home section of the blog. So be sure to add it to your RSS feed.

There comes a time in all of our lives when the roles reverse. Suddenly, we are no longer the child and the parenting skills we’ve so carefully honed with our own kids now need to be turned toward our aging parents. It can be one of the most emotionally trying times of your life, especially if you don’t know how your parents feel about certain issues. Unfortunately, too many people wait until it is too late to sit down and have a discussion to learn their needs and wishes. Don’t wait for an emergency just because you feel uncomfortable discussing topics like finances, wills, and funerals. Nobody ever wants to watch their parents age, but if you have everything buttoned up ahead of time, it can ease some of the stress.

Alicia on “caring for an older parent”

“My Dad died 15 years ago and my Mom is almost 90 now. I’m the baby of the family by many years, so I’m seeing my mom age well before my friends are experiencing it. I’ve learned that it’s never easy, but having everything at our fingertips is vital. My Mom, who has dementia, just broke her hip a few months ago. It’s stressful when something like that happens and you’re worrying about their care and recovery. My sisters and I put together her living will and power of attorney documents years ago, before the dementia set in. We’ve also compiled all of her medical and insurance information and all three of us have it at the ready. I can’t imagine not having it all together. It would just make things that much worse. Now, when emergencies arise, we can focus on her care and comfort instead of scurrying around for paperwork.”

Even if you do nothing else, complete the first three tasks and keep the documents and information in one spot (Life.Doc or Medical.Doc binders are available at www.getbuttonedup.com):

1. Legal:

In addition to a standard will, have a lawyer draw up a durable power of attorney, which allows you to make financial decisions on behalf of your parents. Additionally, each parent needs a health care directive, also known as a living will, that spells our their individual wishes for medical care.

2. Medical.

Everybody should have a family history, but in addition to that information, keep a detailed list of all of the medications your parent is taking. In addition to the reason and the drug’s name, be sure to include dosage amounts. Additionally, keep a list of doctor’s names and contact numbers, since many elderly patients are under the care of several doctors and specialists at once.

3. Insurance.

In addition to your parent’s Medicare policy number and 800 information number, be sure to keep any information on supplemental or secondary insurance, as well as long term heath coverage, if they have it.

4. Finances.

It’s always advisable to discuss finances with your parents to learn more about their situation. Will they require financial assistance from you or will you need to know how they want their estate distributed? While a will can tell you how it will be divided, if you have a record of all of their accounts and policies, account numbers, and contact information, it can save you a lot of time and frustration later.

5. Coordinate Care.

Will your parents live at home, require live-in assistance, or opt for assisted living? Either way, aging parents require a lot of help. Whether it’s picking up their groceries or taking them to doctor’s appointments, their needs can be overwhelming for one person alone. Create a spreadsheet with various tasks and divide the work among various family members or friends.

Book Giveaway: Point, Click, and Save: Mashup Mom’s Guide to Saving and Making Money Online

This is your chance to win your own copy of Point, Click, and Save: Mashup Mom’s Guide to Saving and Making Money Online by Rachel Singer Gordon of Mashupmom

To Win:

This giveaway is open to U.S. residents over 18. Here’s what you need to do to enter to win:

• Fan us on Facebook and follow up on Twitter and post that you have done so!

• Extra Entry: Leave a comment on this blog (be sure to include your email when you submit the comment, so we know how to reach you).

• Extra Entry – mention this giveaway in a post or tweet with a link back and leave a comment letting us know you’ve done so.

• Extra Entry – sign up for Buttoned Up’s e-newsletter.

• Please post a separate comment for each extra entry so we know it’s been done!

• Entry period closes at midnight PST, Sunday, August 1st, and the winner will be announced Monday, August 2nd.

**Note winner will be picked at random using Random.org and announced in the newsletter on Monday, August 2nd. Winners will be contacted by email. Winners will have seven (7) days to contact us and claim the prize before another winner is selected.
You can go here to purchase the book!

Author Rachel Singer Gordon

Of Horcruxes, Cracker Jack Boxes and Colonoscopies

By Humorist and illustrator, Alisa Singer

Harry Potter fans will recall the scene in the series’ sixth book when Dumbledore agonizingly forces himself to drink a basin of vile green potion. It turned out that, in a cruel twist on the Cracker Jack box gimmick, Lord Voldemort had hidden one of his treasured Horcruxes at the bottom, to be accessed only by one who drinks the entire contents of the basin. The wise Dumbledore had deputized his protégé Harry Potter to ensure he finished every last drop of the foul liquid, no matter how much he protested.

Persons of my vintage may be forgiven for seeing Dumbledore’s self-inflicted torture as akin to the dreaded process of preparing for a colonoscopy. So, the evening before my own procedure I took a page from the great wizard’s playbook and recruited my teenage daughter to be my “Harry”, charging her with the job of making sure that I drank all of the several thousand ounces of the nauseous mixture my doctor required me to swallow.

With my daughter at my side to urge me forward I eyed my nemesis, an enormous plastic jug that looked like it belonged on a shelf in someone’s garage filled with antifreeze. I was overcome by feelings of loathing and trepidation rising from, as one might expect, deep within my bowels. (These are the kinds of feelings a clogged pipe might entertain towards a can of Drano, if plumbing fixtures had emotions.)

Nonetheless, I stiffened my sinews, summoned up the blood, screwed my courage to the sticking place and grimly began to drink, quoting liberally from Dumbledore throughout: “.. …Don’t like it …. want to stop…No more, please, no more …”, followed by choruses of “I want to die! I want to die! Make it stop, make it stop, I want to die!” and “KILL ME!”

I was rather proud of how my daughter handled her responsibilities during my ordeal – the girl’s made of some stern stuff. Promises of designer jeans, a car of her choice when she turned 16 and a lavish destination wedding someday (with the groom of her choice) were as gnats against the great windshield of her determination. Her resolve did waiver a bit when I dangled the condo in Aspen but, ultimately, she did not succumb. Of course, I made it relatively easy for her. Only once or twice was she required to wrestle me to the ground, kneel upon my chest, squeeze my nostrils shut and pour liquid down my throat.

Finally, I gulped down the last few ounces and collapsed into a chair. (There was, unhappily, no prize at the bottom of the container, not even a Horcrux.) Assuming the aspect of a guppy floating on its side on the surface of a fishbowl, I waited for nature, abetted in this case by a wide assortment of toxic chemicals, to run its inevitable course.

It occurred to me later that this is likely one of those situations in which men and women might differ in their approach. I theorized that women, being natural “pleasers”, would tend to assiduously drink every last drop out of fear of disappointing the authority figure, i.e., the gastroenterologist. Whereas men, their brains awash in testosterone, would be more likely to discount directives issued by others and adopt a more defiant, “good enough, I’m done”, attitude.

I had one anecdotal bit of supporting evidence for this theory. The brother of a friend of mine, a not-to-be-named anchorman for a major television network, decided to do an on-air colonoscopy in the hope of motivating everyone who was AARP-eligible to run out and, with great alacrity, schedule their own procedure. His plan was to walk through the experience from beginning to end, finishing with a dramatic endoscopic image of his colon. Unfortunately, being a man, his preparation for the procedure was less than exemplary, with the result that the image of his colon wasn’t appropriate for prime time viewing. Not to be deterred, he made a secret deal to borrow pictures from a female TV celebrity who had earlier done her own on-air colonoscopy and whose colon was, of course, squeaky clean. (She, being female, had completed the prep process with the commitment to perfection she brought to bear in all things.) The audience never knew whose colon they were actually viewing.

I put the question to my own doctor, a prominent gastroenterologist who has performed tens of thousands of these procedures: “Are women more likely than men to thoroughly complete the odious evening-before exam prep?” After seriously pondering the matter for a moment, he said he finds both genders arrive similarly prepared as a rule; however, he pointed out that a woman’s colon is longer than a man’s (who knew?) and because they are also typically smaller people, it is harder for them to swallow all the liquid and get the job done. The fact that they are able to prepare as well as the men, given these obstacles, would support a conclusion that women are generally more committed to following instructions attentively, even under highly unpleasant circumstances. He also recounted an incident where the male CEO of a major company arrived for his procedure without having done any prep at all. He apparently expected the doctor to somehow “fix” this for him, being accustomed to not having to deal with disagreeable tasks in his life. To his surprise, the doctor sent him home to drink his gallons of noxious liquid.

I wondered whether Dumbledore’s own determination to drink every drop of the potion might not pose evidence inconsistent with my theory. I raised my concern to my daughter. “Ah,” she said, “you forget”. She proceeded to remind me of the dramatic disclosure made by J.K.Rowling to an assembly of her fans in Carnegie Hall in 2007 – Dumbledore, it turns out, was gay.

Alisa Singer’s humorous essays have appeared in a variety of print and online newspapers and magazines across the country and in Canada.

She is the author of various gift books designed to entertain and amuse baby boomers. You can learn more about her work and purchase her books by visiting her website: www.AlisaSinger.com or contacting her at ASingerAuthor@gmail.com.

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I am certain of many of you saw our recent review of the great PileSmart products by Pendaflex.

As a lifelong piler myself, I wanted to add a bit more information that I have found very helpful and might also help my other ‘fellow pilers.’ Enjoy and may your piles never grow too high!

The 7 Sins Of Piling

Pendaflex has a great guide to helping Pilers get their desks organized. Print out the whole guide HERE. I did and love it. Here is my favorite excerpt: The 7 Sins Of Piling. Things you should always avoid. Whether it’s the hectic nature of your business day, the demands of juggling multiple projects, home-office records that keep getting bigger, or any other reason – it can be easy to make a piling faux-pas that could cost you time or lead toa lost document.

To follow are seven piling situations to stay away from:

1. Do not over extend
Be careful not to place piles too close to the edge of a desktop because before you know it, you’ll be picking loose papers off the floor.

2. Do not allow papers to stick out too far from each pile
This can get real messy, real fast. Plus, when papers protrude from the pile they can obscure the labels that identify your file headings, preventing you from finding what you want.

3. Do not overstuff your folders.
We’ve all fallen victim to this one…the urge to cram as much paperwork as humanly possible into each file folder in our pile. Ignore the temptation to do so. Overstuffed folders do not allow the folder to close properly, compromising the ability of the folder to hold your documents while also making it almost impossible to efficiently reference individual papers.

4. Do not use file folders that are worn and torn.
Besides being unsightly, tattered file folders in your piles can contribute to misfiles and the loss of crucial papers. Pendaflex® PileSmartTM folders and organizers are made of super strong poly material to resist wearing, tearing and moisture – providing exceptional durability while also protecting your documents from such office mishaps as coffee spills.

5. Do not pile papers containing paper clips.
Invariably, papers that are clipped together will catch on to one another, resulting in confusion within your piles.

6. Do not use rubber bands to hold papers together.
Quality folders such as those in the Pendaflex® PileSmartTM line are designed to do a fine job of keeping documents securely inside each file. Rubber bands will only do one thing: waste your energy by forcing you to take the extra step of removing the rubber band each time you reference paperwork.

7. Do not create “miscellaneous” files.
If something is important enough to be saved and then put into your pile, it deserves its own label heading specific to the file’s topic. Invariably, you will forget what’s in a miscellaneous file, and be forced to dig through the entire pile to find what you need

More Great Advice To Come

Want to keep getting great tips and advice from Pendaflex? Keep in touch with them via their on line community, Beyond Folders. Like them on facebook. Follow them on twitter.

Disclosure: This is sponsored content and we have been paid to do this post. That being said, we do not blog about anything we do not believe in and Pendaflex did not edit our post or direct our content in any way.

Signs of Overload

Have you ever stared at your to-do list and realized after 3 minutes that you’ve been spacing out and have no idea what you’re actually supposed to be doing? That was me today. I have the worst case of ADD I’ve ever had. First it took me over 10 minutes to get even a fraction of my to-do’s down on paper. Then as I considered which ones to actually tackle, the words turned into blurry blobs on the page. As King Julien XIII in Madagascar is so fond of saying: “Oy vey everybody!” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Quick Fix

Before I started drooling, I realized I had better get my act together – and pronto! So I did what I always do when I am feeling totally stuck and without focus. I grab a thank you card or two and start writing. To whom? To anyone in my life who deserves one. Sometimes I even write one to myself – a thank you for getting my but in gear and doing whatever it was that I didn’t think I could do. It’s amazing how focusing for a few minutes on what you have to be grateful for gives you all the energy you need to get back in the game.

10 thank you notes was all it took to get my head back in the game today!

What about you? Have you ever used thank you cards to give yourself a jump start? If not, do you think it would help you get over your inertia? I’d love to hear from you!

It’s hard to believe that summer is half over and it’s time to get your kids buttoned up for back to school. The good news is, you don’t have to switch your brain back on…yet. Simply follow this checklist and your gang will be ready when the school bell rings.

Download this form now! (PDF)