Are you guilty of falling short of a true spring clean? The tendency this time of year is to focus on physical clutter, but the kind you can’t see – emotional clutter – is just as important to tackle. By emotional clutter we simply mean all those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs that are keeping you stuck, rooted in a spot that probably no longer represents who you are or what you are capable of.

Emotional clutter acts like an invisible set of horse blinders that keep you from seeing beyond what is right in front of you. They blind you to potential paths forward and from the resources and options you have at your disposal for taking those paths. But because those emotional blinders aren’t really physical, they are easy enough to suppress or ignore.

Here are seven signs you have emotional clutter to deal with, and ideas for clearing it out.

1. Your Expectations of How Others Should Behave Is Distancing You From Them.

Do you have rules for how the people in your life need to show you they love you? For example, do you “need” your husband to start taking out recycling without being nagged to feel more appreciated? The problem with this is twofold: (a) it is extremely rare that these expectations are ever verbalized – so the other person has no idea that they are fouling up, and (b) your focus on what they aren’t doing right often causes you to miss other, real expressions of love. If you are caught in this trap, there’s a tell-tale warning sign: a feeling that you have to do everything and nobody appreciates it/you. Instead of lashing out at others, use the warning sign to take a beat and ask yourself – how could I communicate my needs more effectively..

2. What You Should Do Is Making You Miserable or Rebellious.

Just as should isn’t a good motivators for others (see point #1), it’s not a good motivator for you, either. No adult really wants to feel like they have to follow someone else’s rules. Being in that position tends to elicit one of two emotional responses: misery or rebelliousness. Neither is terribly productive. Rather than bowing to should do’s, the next time you start to do something because you have to, stop. Take five minutes to consider what you really want to do and why. Then decide to make and follow your own rules in that area going forward.

3. You Cringe Every Time You Scroll Through Your Contacts & See That Name.

Old relationships that ended on an unfortunate note, whether personal or professional, are part of life. If you had one, do yourself a favor and get some closure. Distance is the only thing that will lessen the emotional sting. Delete their contact information from your phone. UnFriend. UnLink. UnFollow. You don’t need to know what they are up to if all it does is make you re-experience a past hurt.

4. You Feel Guilty Because You Let Someone Down.

Human beings are born to please. From the time we can walk, we are socialized to share, pitch in, and contribute – and for good reason. The principle of reciprocity serves as a crucial glue for our community-based societies. But it can also lead you to over-commit. If you’re chronically over-extending yourself, and letting people down in the process, you need to swap your “sure, no problem” for “that sounds really interesting; let me think about it and get back to you with an answer.” Then use the time to determine whether or not you want to accept the request. Get more tips for overcoming this tendency to say yes when you mean no.

5. You Get a Nagging Feeling When You Think About (Or See Contact Information For) Someone.

Sometimes so much time has passed since you last connected with someone that you feel guilty just thinking about them or seeing their information in your phone. Rather than suppressing the negative emotion, call them. Ideally, right when you realize you’re feeling guilty. If you can’t do it right then, make an appointment to connect with them before the week is out. More often than not, the other person feels just as guilty. Plus it always feels great to zap a pointless emotion and reconnect with someone you truly care about.

6. You Have Uncompleted Projects.

When you fail to complete a project, you not only have physical reminders of it, but nagging emotional ones as well. The nagging may not be urgent, but it’s there, somewhere in the back of your mind, constantly reminding you that you have something left to do – and acting like a drag on your overall energy level. If you’ve got one (or more) of these, take some time before the day is out to make a list of the projects you want to complete. Then break them down into smaller work steps and schedule them in. If you have a half-started project that you no longer really want to finish – it’s okay. Better to let it go and be at peace with your decision that to continue to carry it around.

What are some of the beliefs or emotions you need to clean out? Are you willing to release your hoarder’s grip on those beliefs to create room for something new and different?

“Me” time. Just the name of it sounds selfish, doesn’t it?

Perhaps that’s why so many people feel so guilty taking it. But while it may sound like an extravagance, it is actually absolutely essential to our well being.

Life Is Hectic

Our lives today are filled with stressors, from bad ones, like busy schedules and micromanaging bosses, to good ones, like getting married and buying a house. When confronted with stress, the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction. Your adrenal glands flood the system with adrenaline and cortisol, two hormones that help you prepare to take action (adrenaline) and then sustain it as long as needed (cortisol). It doesn’t matter if the danger is physical or psychological; your body reacts the same way when it encounters stressors of any kind.

This autonomic stress response isn’t bad in and of itself. It is what protects you from danger and is also the very thing that helps you perform well. It sharpens your concentration, helps you overcome procrastination, and keeps you alert while you’re performing.

The Downside of Stress

The problem comes when you have too much stress. When you are chronically stressed, your adrenal glands work overtime to pump out ever more adrenaline and cortisol. When that happens it impacts your body’s immunity, thyroid function, blood sugar levels, and even your ability to lose weight. The bottom line is: chronic stress causes major damage to your health, torpedoes your productivity, and generally diminishes your quality of life.
So, far from being selfish, “me” time is really about consciously turning down the volume on your stress reflex. Taking the time keeps you healthy, improves your creativity, your ability to be present, and is what enables you to “turn it on” again when you really need it.

Because we all have varying stress loads and thresholds, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to taking “me” time. Some people require more, others less. But here are four ideas for fitting it into a busy schedule.

1. Start Small.

If you are a hard-charging type who has never taken any “me time,” don’t try to become the paragon of balance overnight. If you do, it probably won’t stick. Try taking a fifteen-minute break once a week. Use the time to stretch, walk around the block, call a friend. Then gradually build up to fifteen minutes a day. We’ll bet you won’t want to stop there once you see how great it feels.

2. Schedule It In.

Most people we know who struggle to fit in the time for themselves don’t lock it into their schedule. Because life is full of proverbial fires, there is always something that will appear in the moment to be more important than recalibrating your stress levels. Don’t get caught in that trap. Set a time in your calendar and consider it as important as an appointment with your physician. Because it is.

3. Involve a Buddy.

Enlisting the help of a friend or loved one will help you on two levels, especially if you struggle with feelings of guilt for “selfishly” taking time to unwind. First, it adds a level of accountability. When you schedule something some down time with a friend, you are much less likely to cancel than you are just answering to yourself. Second, friends reduce our stress levels. A new study has shown that connecting with a good friend decreases your level of the stress hormone cortisol.

4. Turn off the Screens.

When the time to take your “me time” arrives, turn off your screens, phones, and the like. It’s counterproductive to try to decompress while things are binging and pinging at you and effectively reminding your adrenal glands that there are more important things to do (stress!).

Do you think me time is essential or extravagant? Do you take time for yourself? If so, how & when do you fit it in?

Don’t you just love opening your mailbox right around your birthday and finding thoughtful greeting cards wishing you a happy day? I know I do; it’s such a nice change from the usual bills and junk mail that stuff the box. In this day of instant e-everything, getting a physical greeting card on a special occasion lets you know you are truly cherished.

We all love to get those missives, but how good are you at remembering others on their special days? Do you always remember to send a card or are you usually the one scrambling the day of to find an appropriate way to get in touch, send an e-greeting, or high-five them on facebook…if you remember them at all? If you fall into the latter camp, keep reading. We’ve outlined six simple steps you can take, each in 10 minutes or less, to go from forgetful to one of those thoughtful few who always remembers.

1. Create a Monthly Calendar.

The first essential step is to create a master calendar. We strongly recommend doing this using old-fashioned pen and paper. No, we’re not luddites, but we have had too many clients build one of these using their e-calendar function only to loose everything when their computer crashes unexpectedly. Yes, even if they back up! So, use a gorgeous free birthday calendar template like the one pictured here that I found on The Pretty Blog to create your own. For a more basic one, simply use a blank sheet of paper. Title the sheet on both sides: “Birthdays and Anniversaries.” Then, divide the front page into a grid of six and do the same on the reverse. Label each square on your grid with a month. When you are done, put it in a central spot like on a pin board in the kitchen.

2. Make a List of People/Events You Want to Remember Each Month.

Make a note of each good friend and family member you want to remember in each month. If you are starting from scratch and don’t have a master list but do use social media, facebook is a wonderful resource since most people display their birthdates. Moms and sisters also tend to be another wonderful font of information on this front. The key here is to start. It doesn’t have to be a “perfect” list (there’s no such thing). Focus on your immediate family first and branch out from there.

3. Buy a Stash of Greeting Cards.

No matter what kind of cards you want to send, pretty paper ones or thoughtful e-greetings, it is much more efficient to shop for all of your cards at once. This is the fun part, so just enjoy it. Once you get them home, put them on your desk so that you are ready for the next task. If you love the idea of sending physical cards but don’t have time to hit the store, our Greetings.stash is a great one-stop shop for cards.

4. Address Them All At Once.

It sounds silly, but a lot of people actually go through the trouble of getting a card but fail to ever address it – so it never gets sent. Take the time to address each card now. You don’t need to write and seal the note now, just take care of the envelope’s outside. Ideally affix a stamp on each card as well so you don’t have to scramble for one later.

5. Store Them in Order on a Desktop Basket or Box.

Keep your cards in a spot where you will see them on a daily basis. For many, it’s in a small basket on top of their desks. For others, on their kitchen counter. It doesn’t matter where you keep them, just that they are all stored in the same place so you don’t have to waste time trying to remember where you put them. Get a tutorial on how to make the cute box pictured above at Design*Sponge.

6. Set Alarms in Your eCalendar.

This last step is crucial. You need to put reminders in place at least one week in advance of the date you want to remember. We find that setting an alarm for just before you typically walk out the door in the morning works best. When the alarm sounds, just grab your card from the basket and either drop it in the mail, or bring it with you to fill out and post before the end of the day.

How good are you at remembering people’s birthdays and anniversaries? Are you ready in advance or do you find yourself scrambling to find a card and present at the last second?

As the dark, somewhat dreary days of winter drag on, it’s easy to fall into a funk. Get up, slog through the daily grind, eat, sleep, repeat. Fortunately that funk is both easy to avoid and, should you have already fallen prey to it, easy to shake. How? The answer is simple: help someone else cross something off of their list, just because.

Evidence from scientists in fields as varied as neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, and behavioral economics is mounting: altruistic acts are not only a fundamental fabric of our human communities, but they are also a surefire route to happiness and health. For example, Emory University neuroscientists James Rilling and Gregory Berns found that the act of helping another person triggers the same parts of your brain as self-gratification; so, when you help someone else, you get the same “reward,” neurologically speaking, as if you had done something to fulfill your own desires. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. And researchers at Happiness360.org have found that committing random acts of kindness is strongly correlated with higher levels of happiness.

Because time is one thing most people wished they had more of, one of the kindest acts you could do for another is to help cross something off of an already overstuffed to-do list. We’ve adapted these from our February #GetButtonedUp Challenge (if you haven’t joined in – it’s not too late – just click on the Challenge link, comment to join and start checking in on Facebook).

In addition to the aforementioned health and happiness benefits, we’ll bet you’ll gain another benefit too: motivation to tackle some of your own organizational to-do’s. We humans have a tendency to perceive them as much harder and more time-intensive than they actually are. By volunteering to tackle an organizational task for another you’ll be reminded of how much easier it was to deal with than you had made it out to be in your head.

1. Organize Someone Else’s Closet.

There are few organizational tasks as visually transformative as cleaning out a closet. In a relatively short period of time, you can take one from total disaster to pretty neat, and the benefits can be enjoyed every day for weeks on end. So, if you’re married, clean out your spouse’s closet. If you’re not, treat your best friend, a parent, or a sibling. Have fun with it; try to incorporate the element of surprise if you can. For quick tips on how to make a dent in short order, watch this video by our team on organizing your closet.

2. Reach Out and Babysit for a Stressed Mom Friend or Relative.

Motherhood is hard, hard work. Moms need, but don’t often get, enough time to decompress and relax – especially moms with young children. Schedule time to babysit for a mom you know that could use a little “me” time. While you’re babysitting, do a load of laundry for her and you’ll give (and get) an added dose of happiness.

3. Detoxify a Friend’s Car.

Most people we know have cars that could use a little TLC. When life is hectic, picking up that water bottle rolling around on the floor of the back seat often falls to the bottom of the priority list. Give a colleague or friend a certificate to a local car wash just because. Or surprise your spouse, sibling, or parent by giving their car a deep clean by yourself.

4. Run an Errand for Someone Harried.

Time: nobody has enough of it. Lend a hand in a way that gives somebody more of this precious commodity. Take an errand off of their hands: whether it’s something small, like picking up dry cleaning or making a phone call for them – or something bigger, like doing a grocery run, you will absolutely make their day…and yours too.

5. Help Someone Map Out a Plan to Achieve a Goal.

We all typically start off the year with good intentions, but by now at least two-thirds have ditched their resolutions. Be the planning guru for a friend or family member. Grab a few of these free printable goal sheets and help them break their big goal down into smaller steps, schedule them, and plan ahead for ways to get back on track if they get distracted or fall off course.

1. In anything, 20% of tasks are critical, 80% are trivial.

Of all the things most people do, most really aren’t that important. Sure, being busy may feel like progress, but it’s important not to confuse activity with progress. Time management masters take the time to identify which tasks on their list are truly critical and focus their attention there. The benefit: they get a lot farther, faster. Of course, to know what tasks are important, you have to be clear on your goals. Buttoned Up has two free goal list printables for getting clarity on that front. Organize multiple goals within a big picture with this printable and use this printable to reach individual goals.

2. Delegating is the only way to get more done in less time.

By enabling others to take on some of the work load, you’ll not only have more time to focus on what really matters (see law #1), but you’ll also give them the opportunity to stretch their full potential as well. Learn more about the art of delegation (LINK: http://getbuttonedup.com/2009/02/11/the-art-of-delegation/).

3. Inertia is a powerful force.

Starting something is the most difficult part of any project, particularly big ones. Your brain may come up with lots of excuses as to why something is too difficult to tackle now, #1 being: I don’t have enough time to get to that right now. Fortunately overcoming project or task inertia is easy. First, break the bigger task into smaller parts. Then, simply grab an egg timer and set it for 10 minutes. Go! It doesn’t matter how much you get done in those ten minutes, but you will have started – and once momentum is on your side, it is much more likely to stay there.

4. Work will fill up whatever time you have allotted for it.

This statement is otherwise known as Parkinson’s Law. Working with simple and clear deadlines forces you to focus your attention on getting the essentials of the task done. When you give yourself too much time to do something, you tend to make a mountain out of a molehill (and suffer all the anxiety that goes along with having a big, looming task hanging over your head). If you are struggling with this concept, ask yourself the question, “If I had to complete my most pressing project in half the time, how would I do it?”

5. Multi-tasking impairs intelligence (& tanks your efficiency).

Researchers at the University of Michigan have shown that multitaskers actually take longer to finish tasks than those who did each task sequentially. That’s because our brains work sequentially. Instead of doing two tasks at once, the brain actually toggles between whatever tasks are under way. Other studies at top-tier institutions like UCLA have shown switching between tasks impairs our ability to learn and even impairs our IQ more than smoking marijuana. Bottom line: multi-tasking is a giant waste of time.

6. Nothing goes according to plan.

Arnold Bennett said it best, “A first-rate organizer is never in a hurry. She is never late. She always keeps up her sleeve a margin for the unexpected.” The unexpected WILL happen. Kids get sick. Websites crash. Skilled time managers know this and build time into every day for dealing with unexpected, unforeseeable issues.

7. What you write down – and schedule – gets done.

Parkinson’s Law (#4) has a corollary: if you haven’t allotted any time to complete something you can bet that your empty time slot will be filled with crap or whatever seems most urgent. Have a basic plan for your day, and actually go so far as to schedule critical tasks so that they get crossed off your list.

8. Every person has a “prime time.”

Some people have much more energy first thing in the morning. Others find their levels of energy and ability to concentrate peak in the mid-afternoon. Understand your personal rhythms and schedule tasks that require the most effort and energy during that optimal “prime time” window.

9. Batteries run out.

Human beings need to take time to recharge. A relentless schedule that does not allow for a break from the stress impacts everything from our cardiovascular health to our weight, our ability to learn, our mood, our creativity levels and even our immune systems. Build in time each day, each week, each month, and each year to take care of yourself and renew your energy. Skipping things like exercise may seem like a more efficient thing to do, but it really makes you less efficient.

Are you a skilled time manager or do you struggle with it? What (if any) “law” do you break most often?

It’s time to get your love buttoned up!

February is all about the heart. Not only does Valentine’s Day fall smack, dab in the middle of the month, but it’s also “American Heart Month” and therefore time to take care of that all important organ. With this theme in mind, we’ve put together another great monthly challenge for you!

By the end of this challenge, you will:

1. Actually have enjoyed Valentine’s Day because you were prepared for it!
2. Be ready to remember every important day (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) in the lives of your loved ones in 2012.
3. Have taken concrete steps to care for your health.
4. Actually have figured out how to carve out (and enjoy) some me time.

And much, much more!

How the February #GetButtonedUp Challenge Will Work

Each day during the month of February we have a specific organizational task for you to complete. Download the 29 day calendar by clicking on the link below.

Get Buttoned Up Challenge – February

When you complete the task, let the buttoned up team know your status by commenting on the Facebook check-in post for that day and either email or Tweet the picture of your completed task. We will enter anyone who has completed all 29 days of the challenge successfully into a grand prize drawing. All winners will be selected using random.org.

Participating in the #GetButtonedUp Challenge is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Let us know you’re in by commenting on this post below AND by heading over to Facebook to comment under the post about being a part of the February Challenge.
2. Letting us know you completed your daily task by commenting on the Facebook GetButtonedUp Challenge Check-In post each day
3. Sending a picture of your completed task to Sarah – via email sarah @ getbuttonedup dot com OR via TwitPic to @SarahButtonedUp & using the #getbuttonedup hashtag.

Grand Prize

Grand Prize: $100 donation to the charity of your choice in your name
2 Runner Up Prizes: $50 donation to the charity of your choice in your name

Join In By Commenting Below!

NOTE: All are welcome to join in the challenge.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/27/join-in-the-february-getbuttonedup-challenge/feed/ 33 http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/17/4-ways-to-break-productivity-torpedoing-digital-habits/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/17/4-ways-to-break-productivity-torpedoing-digital-habits/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:08:04 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=18642

A few years ago, Disney Pixar released the movie Up. It’s a sweet little film about a rather crotchety old widower and a young scout who accidentally end up on an adventure together. Not long after they touch down in a far-off land they are greeted by a dog named Dug. He’s a loveable golden retriever who bounds affectionately into their arms and then shocks them both when he speaks English via a special collar translator worn around his neck. The only trouble is, he often interrupts what he’s saying mid-sentence, shouts “squirrel,” and points for a second or two.

In a lot of ways, we humans are a lot like cute, furry Dug. Only our “squirrels” are the bings and buzzes emanating from our digital devices. One minute we’re working productively on something, but the second our phone vibrates, we will drop everything and turn to it…squirrel!

These constant interruptions literally torpedo our productivity. It is estimated the average person wastes 2 hours/day on email, 40 minutes/day on Facebook, 12 minutes/day on Twitter, 10 minutes/day on LinkedIn – and an additional 96 minutes/day switching back and forth between tasks. That means all of our squirrel chasing is costing each of us about 22.5 hours in lost productivity a week. That’s a staggering amount!

Why are we “addicted” to our phones, email, and other e-communications?

There are two big reasons why we feel compelled to incessantly check our phones, emails, facebook pages, twitter accounts, and the like.

The first is because there is a powerful conditioning loop at work. Our digital devices often “reward” us with feelings of belonging and significance when we respond to them; that email from mom, the high-five from a boss, they make us feel good. These two emotions are paramount to humans. If we were rats, they would be our cheese. When a stimuli, like an email ping, is paired with a powerful reward and then delivered at unpredictable intervals, just as happens with our digital devices, we will literally become addicted to the behavior associated with getting the powerful reward. In this case that means we literally can’t resist the urge to check email or grab our phones when they beep at us.

The second reason we’re addicted is because of a little human trait social scientists call reciprocity, or the compulsion to respond in kind to others. It is a trait that enables individuals to make contributions to the larger social group without worrying they are losing out. We are all taught from a very young age to return favors, lest we be shunned as an ingrate. Guess what, it applies to communications too. One social scientist, Professor Robert Cialdini, actually conducted an experiment a few decades ago in which he sent holiday greeting cards to a few hundred people he chose at random from the AZ white pages. Low and behold, he was soon inundated with holiday cards from them, even though they had no idea who he was. You see, our compulsion to respond is hard-wired.

4 strategies for overcoming your compulsion

Although the pull to drop everything and respond is strong, we are not at the mercy of our digital devices. Here are four, relatively simple strategies for resisting their siren call.

1. Reduce the intrusiveness of the stimuli.

Since the stimuli trigger a conditioning loop most of us are unable to resist, one of the most effective things you can do is reduce the intrusiveness of the stimuli when you need to focus on something. That means, turning off all alerts, buzzes, dings, pop-ups that could distract you from your work at hand. If you have a Mac, you can also “hide” your dock while you are working on something, so you won’t see any visual indicators that you have mail. We recommend turning them off for good because you don’t ever really need to be at their mercy.

2. Remove the reward dispensers from your environment (temporarily).

There are programs, like Freedom, and Concentrate that enable you to lock yourself out of “rewarding” programs like email social media sites when you need to really focus on a task. The programs are $10 and $29 respectively, but worth their weight in gold. Using them elevates you from rat in a cage being conditioned by external forces to that of the scientist who is actually doing the conditioning.

3. Reward yourself for good behavior.

Use the powerful emotional rewards of significance and belonging to strengthen new, more productive behavior. For example, if you currently respond to every email, text, etc. the second it comes in, try rewarding yourself with a peek at those emails after you finish a task successfully.

4. Send fewer emails/texts and make what you do send brief and to the point.

Did you know that you can use the power of reciprocity to actually curtail the amount of email you receive? Consider this, Kim Davis, a woman we interviewed for our book Pretty Neat, tried a little experiment. She added a signature line to all of her emails that simply said, “Please keep our email boxes uncluttered, only reply all if it is critical everyone receives your reply.” She immediately noticed a drop in reply all clutter in her inbox. She also noticed others in her department, and then in other departments, adopting her signature line as well. In that spirit, if you send fewer emails, you will receive fewer emails. And if you make a point of sending brief, concise emails, you are more likely to get that same kind of missive in return. Make reciprocity work for you, not against you.

Do you have these four areas buttoned up? If not, which of these areas do you struggle with? Have you ever tried a program like Concentrate or Freedom?

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/17/4-ways-to-break-productivity-torpedoing-digital-habits/feed/ 6 http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/03/23-tips-for-starting-fresh-in-2012/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/03/23-tips-for-starting-fresh-in-2012/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:34:11 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=18524

The statistics on setting New Year’s resolutions are pretty dismal. Most people won’t make it to the end of the month, let alone the end of the year. In fact, we’ve heard that as few as 2% of resolution-setters actually achieve their goals by year’s-end. Making a change stick is hard work. But it is possible.

No matter what your goals are for the year ahead, we want to help you achieve them. Organize yourself for success with these helpful tips.

1. Take time to evaluate 2011.

Consider the things that went well for you last year as well as the things that didn’t. Make a list of each. Take a moment or two to consider why you were successful or not. In addition, take a moment to celebrate your successes.

2. Ask yourself: “what lessons can I extract from my previous failures?”

I recently posted about the power of a failure wall. As one reader commented on Facebook, “often what we consider huge failures in our minds actually were great learning experiences and have brought us to where we are today – almost a backwards confidence booster.” Take the time to articulate the lessons learned from the stumbles you took last year. The wisdom you gained from making them will serve you well in the year ahead.

3. Get a notebook and write down your goals.

When you physically write something down, the few minutes that it takes for you to review and think about what you are trying to learn is the minimum length of time that neuroscientists believe is necessary to allow thought to go into a lasting, more easily retrievable memory. It also helps you focus your attention and keep track of where you are. Cement your goals by writing them down.

4. Forget about yesterday, last week, last year.

All that matters is what you do in this moment. Don’t paint yourself into a corner as a “failure,” because it is not a permanent state.

5. Start each day with a commitment to your goal(s).

Keep your goals in a spot where you can see and review them at the start of every day. I like to keep a laminated copy taped to the inside front of my to-do notebook, which I look at as soon as I sit down at my desk each day. I know Alicia keeps hers in the drawer of her bedside table and goes over her goals before she even gets out of bed for the day.

6. Script your moves for the first 30 days.

Shifting momentum is often the most difficult part of making a fresh start. Make it easier on yourself by assigning one to-do for each day of the first month so all you have to do is follow the path you’ve already charted.

7. Start small.

As Jonatan Martensson said, “Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now.” Even if it’s just exercising or decluttering for 5 minutes, the important thing is that you start.

8. Make one goal for each week.

Break your big goal into 4 weekly goals for each month. Then forget about the big goal and simply focus on the bite-sized one you need to achieve this week.

9. Plan to Fail.

That sounds depressing, but it’s not. Nobody is perfect. The key to success is expecting failure…and planning ways to bounce back from it. Consider your “weak spots,” like getting out of a warm and cozy bed early. Then brainstorm ways to overcome them, such as going to bed in your workout clothes or investing in a Clocky (that alarm clock that runs away from you).

10. Try some if/then statements.

Psychology researchers from NYU have verified the power of simple if/then statements in getting people to follow through on their intentions. For example, if weight loss is your goal, repeat a statement like, “if I go to a restaurant tonight for dinner, then I will order a salad,” to yourself. You might just surprise yourself when you order a salad as if on autopilot.

11. Stoke your emotional attachment to your goals.

Cut out quotes and images, keep a Pinboard (if you need an invite, just email sarah at getbuttonedup dot com and she will get you one). Keep them handy so that when you are tempted, you can look at something and immediately feel a strong sense of connection to your end goal.

12. Measure your progress.

Pick one or two metrics to measure and keep track of your progress every, single day. Look back at your progress each week and month and celebrate!

13. Make a public statement.

There’s nothing like committing to a goal publicly to keep you honest. Post on your facebook wall, send an email to friends and family, or tell all of your colleagues what you are going to accomplish, by when. Encourage them to check in on you and heckle you if you are not living up to your end of the bargain.

14. Get an accountability buddy or community.

We all need one person who can hold our feet to the fire. If all of your friends and family are pushovers, hire a coach or trainer instead. Or consider joining or creating a Meetup group that will accomplish the same thing.

15. Keep a daily gratitude list.

When you are filled with appreciation for what you have, your mental state shifts dramatically in a positive direction. Start each day by noting all the people and things in your life you are grateful for and take note of how the tone of your days improves.

16. Pat yourself on the back once a week.

It can be easy to get swept up in busyness. But celebrating your progress each week is critical to staying on track. Take 5 minutes every Friday afternoon or Sunday evening and write down at least 3 things you did (or learned) that brought you closer to your intended goal.

17. Reframe what it means to fail.

A teacher once told Sarah that the only way to fail was not to learn. It transformed how she looked at her progress. If you fall down, pick yourself up and ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Learn how you can prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

18. Stop the comparisons.

Goals are personal. Don’t compare yourself or your rate of progress to anyone else. Focus instead on doing the best you can do today.

19. Sign up for a challenge.

There is something about working towards a big challenge that keeps you focused and on track. Find a relevant one to you and sign up.

20. Reward your self-control.

Keep a little sticker or star chart going for yourself on an index card you can keep your wallet. Every time you exercise self-control as it relates to your goal, give yourself a star. Each time you hit a certain number of stars, say 10, reward yourself with something like a manicure or a yummy smoothie.

21. Find someone successful to imitate.

As Anthony Robbins says, “success leaves clues.” You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Speed up your progress by modeling the program of someone who has been successful in the area in which you wish to succeed.

22. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Repeating tasks is the way to mastery. You should repeat one or two of the same tasks that are crucial to the change you want to make each and every week. Before you know it you will be able to do them on autopilot.

23. Be still once a day.

If you have had a good day, consider this an opportunity to energize yourself and tap into your insight and creativity. If you haven’t had a good day, a quiet moment serves as a fresh start. Clear your mind, clean your slate, and begin again.

What are you committed to changing this year? In what ways do you like to start fresh?

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2012/01/03/23-tips-for-starting-fresh-in-2012/feed/ 9 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/12/19/geunius-idea-a-failure-wall/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/12/19/geunius-idea-a-failure-wall/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 10:32:58 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=18421

Last week I stumbled upon a wonderful post on Harvard Business Review blogs (yes, I am a giant nerd) titled: Why I Hire People Who Fail.

In the post the author reminded readers of something we all know to be true – that failures teach us more than successes because we are forced to look back and figure out exactly what happened. He then explained how he created a wall for memorializing failures, and the lessons learned from them, in his office conference room.



It got me thinking.

As a parent really want to teach my kids to embrace failure as one of life’s greatest teachers. My oldest is a bit of a perfectionist, a trait that he probably inherited from me. I didn’t really grasp the potential of failure to teach until I was well into adulthood. I grew up sweeping my failures under the carpet with embarrassment and shame. I don’t want my children to waste precious learning opportunities doing what I did.

Plus I want them to understand the concept of imperfection to their toes – and embrace it wholeheartedly.

So I am thinking of creating a little failure wall of our own at home too. A place where dad, mom, and eventually the boys, can post our failures publicly and share the hard-earned wisdom gained from the experience. It’s a powerful visual reminder that success comes from picking yourself up after you fall and try, try, trying again.



{Brilliant #fail main image via: 1x.com/photos}

I’m curious what you think about this idea. Let me know if you would ever have the courage to do it at work…or at home.

]]> http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/12/19/geunius-idea-a-failure-wall/feed/ 6 http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/11/27/how-big-is-your-organizational-but/ http://getbuttonedup.com/2011/11/27/how-big-is-your-organizational-but/#comments Sun, 27 Nov 2011 13:10:44 +0000 Sarah http://getbuttonedup.com/?p=15527

Does this file folder make my butt look big? No, we’re not talking about that butt. We mean the other kind: “I really need to do XYZ, but…..” These buts come in all different shapes and sizes too. We’ve heard them all, from: “but…I need more time” to “but…I don’t have the resources” and of course, the good old “but…I just can’t seem to get my husband and kids on board.” These excuses are used often by all of us. We’re not innocent either. We’ve both given excuses more times than we’d like to admit as to why we’re not able to get to that project or pile in the garage.

Sarah on “perception vs. reality”

“I like to think I’m pretty organized but there are definitely certain things that I have put off indefinitely because I tell myself I don’t have the time or energy to deal with them. For example, I have a few boxes of things from my grandmother that are taking up space in our garage. I’m supposed to sort through them and pick out what I want to keep, but I convinced that it would take a lot of time and effort to do, so I kept putting it off. Finally, two weekends ago I forced myself to tackle it as the boys played in the yard. Guess what? It took a lot less time than I anticipated. I need to remember that my perception is sometimes off and the reality is that things take less time than I expect.”

Alicia on “the avoidance game”

“Most people are terrific about staying on track when it comes to crossing things off their lists that they enjoy doing. However, when it comes to tackling tasks that you dislike, it’s very common to let them fall by the wayside. There are two tricks that I use on myself to overcome this tendency. The first: I take a minute or two to focus on why it is important to do the dreaded task. I think about all of the good things that will come about if I just do it and the negative consequences that will come about if I fail to do it. The second trick I use is to pair it with something on my list that I really want to do. I tell myself that as soon as I finish the dreaded chore, I get to reward myself with the project I really want to take on. Both have worked wonders for me over the years.”
Here are some additional tips for helping you overcome your excuses and trim your organizational but:

1. Make it a Habit.

If you hate doing a “repeat” chore, like the laundry, try establishing a specific day and time that you will always tackle it. Then hold yourself accountable for sticking to your schedule for one month. After one month, doing it on the allotted day at the allotted time will have become second nature, a habit. And once something is a habit, you are much less likely to put it off with a “but.”

2. Make Yourself Accountable.

Rather than just catching up on the latest gossip, use your next coffee date with a pal as a chance to be held accountable for tackling something. Share a task you’ve been putting off with each other and then agree to an incentive that will keep you honest. For example, if you’ve been putting off donating the toddler toys and you fail to do it by your next coffee date, you owe your friend $25. It’s important that the incentive be large enough that it would be painful to have to make good on it.

3. Just Do It.

It turns out Nike really did have something figured out with that slogan. You’ll spend more time talking yourself out of doing something than you will actually doing it. So like Sarah did with her garage, just get out of your head and jump feet first into the project. If you’re stuck, grab an egg timer, set it for 20 minutes and go.

4. Motivate with A Why.

Put together a mental list of all of the good things that will come from taking action. Cleaning out your attic? Think of all of the people you’ll be helping with your donations, picture the extra space you’ll now have to turn into a sewing room/work space for your teen, feel how liberating it is to be free of that task. The more you focus on the positive outcomes, the more likely you are to get up and do it.

What is your biggest ‘organizational but’? What gets you motivated? Let us know!

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