Defcon 5: Org Porn Alert
Open your mailbox any day this month and its sure to contain at least a few glossy catalogs or magazines, the pages of which are filled to bursting with gorgeously decorated living rooms, artfully set tables, and gifts wrapped with a flourish. Log on to the Internet and the visual feast continues.
Big sites and small blogs alike feature a smorgasbord of artfully photographed, thoughtful Holiday crafts you too should try this time of year. If you turn on the TV, you’ll find more of the same – plus experts of all stripes showing you how to find the “perfect” gift for everyone on your list.Collectively the images are lovely to look at and potentially inspiring. I’m certainly always on the lookout for good ideas I can use to spruce up my own home for the Holidays.
The dark side of Org Porn
But they also have a dark side. Cumulatively they send the message that there is such a thing as “perfect” when it comes to decorating and gift giving, and that we somehow owe it to our loved ones to strive to achieve it.
That’s why at Buttoned Up we put out an “org porn” alert for this time of year. Most of what you are seeing is pure airbrushed fantasy – images that have been carefully art directed, airbrushed, and retouched to create maximum desire. In a nutshell, they bear little resemblance to real life.
Why should you care about that? Well, on a very real level org porn ratchets up the pressure on most of us to do more, buy more, be more perfect hosts when we are already pretty, darn overloaded and financially strapped. The key to avoiding the trap is mercifully very easy: awareness. Once you are aware of what you are looking at (org porn, not reality), you then are free to choose how much or how little you want to buy into a particular image, idea, or product promise.
Here are three techniques for combating the pressure to be perfect – in your décor, in your gift-giving, or in any other area – in the coming month.
1. Focus on one, small idea you can take away and implement without spending a dime.
As I mentioned earlier, org porn images are often wonderful springboards for decorating ideas. To keep from becoming overwhelmed though, look for ways to “right size” them for your life. For example, a cue I’ve borrowed from Pottery Barn catalogs: if you put a bunch of leaves of any kind around your turkey and it will instantly look better – no matter what platter you serve it on. To serve the Turkey last year I used an old, beat up tray I got at Target for $12 in 1993. But nobody could see that because I put clippings from a holly bush and a burning bush that grow in our yard around the turkey and hid the tray completely.
2. Pick one “project” for yourself for the whole season.
Stop there & just do it. It is fairly easy to get carried away fantasizing about all of the beautiful handmade things you’re going to make and do. The only problem is, when you have too many things on your list, you get paralyzed, overwhelmed and do very little. Then you feel bad about it. It’s a vicious cycle. Give yourself one decorating project and just focus on doing a great job on that one thing.
3. Ask the people you love what’s important to them.
Sometimes the experts just aren’t right when it comes to proclaiming what’s best. If you get to the point where you feel your stress levels rising and your chest constricting – tune out the noise. Step away from the org porn and the experts and go listen to the opinions of the people that really matter: your loved ones. Ask them what traditions are important to them and focus on those.
