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Buttoned Up > Everyday Life > Home > Should chores be gender neutral?

Should chores be gender neutral?

posted by Sarah on June 8, 2011 | print article | e-mail to a friend
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  • DawnE

    I’m wondering what your living situation is like and if that is really an inclusive list. Because I find my chore chart to be similar, except there are about 10 more lines of outside, yard work, car-related chores that my husband handles and I wouldn’t dream of touching.

  • SarahButtonedUp

    Dawn – yep. There is definitely yard work, but we actually decided 2 years ago to hire a gardening service because we both have black thumbs. So that’s out for the hubby. But you are right, he DOES maintain the garage, clean the gutters, plow the snow in winter, keep drains clear of leaves, and we split the responsibility on car maintenance (I remind him when to make appointments and often make them, he takes the cars/picks them up). As a family we all wash the cars together. It’s a great summer activity. 

  • Elg1973

    Good point raised by Dawn – there are often many things we overlook simply because we’re focused on what’s happening IN the home & not AT the home. 🙂 In my family growing up, with only 2 girl children (no boys), it was more related to age – at 10 we got ourselves up in the morning & made our own breakfasts; at 13 we learned to do our own laundry; at 16 we learned basic car maintenance for our vehicles; at 18 we got basic checking accounts & did our own grocery shopping… so maybe it’s not as important to gender-neutralize as it is to just make an effort to teach every chore to every child. 🙂 That way, no one’s affected by gender roles (we hope)!

  • Jenn

    Currently I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works 9+ hours with typically 1.5 – 2 hour drive each way.  Needless to say he’s away from home a bit.  We have 3 little ones, a 2.5 year old, a 1.5 year old and a 5 month old.  They see Mom mostly cleaning the house, doing the gardening (although my husband typically mows the lawn) and even working in the shed.  I grabbed the tools when I wanted to install a new closet system and I pull out the chemicals when I want to clean the bathroom.  The 1.5 year old is a boy and his favorite thing in the world is vacuuming.  We got a small Swivil Sweeper so that he could vacuum.  When company comes if the house isn’t ready Dad chips in and helps with bathrooms, vacuuming or anything else that needs doing.  We plan to teach each child how to do every chore.  How things get split up then depends on the needs of the family, at least in our case.

  • TC

    Whether you like it or not you shouldn’t leave ‘paying the bills’ just on your husband’s plate.  As a woman you need to be in the know about your family’s finances- that should be in both your columns.  If he’s so good with paperwork, why don’t you have him deal w/the doctor’s appt and kids chore chart??

  • SarahButtonedUp

    TC – you are 100% right. Thanks for the wake-up reminder. 

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